tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85908850476455204632024-03-14T02:21:09.336-07:00No eggs in this basket!Typical stupid chick who believed motherhood after 40 would be easy. It wasn't; and that's a gross understatement. Thanks to CCRM and a lot of money, a little lady made me a mommy and I found love and weakness in myself I never knew existed.Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.comBlogger192125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-43999987787506582112018-05-29T11:53:00.000-07:002018-05-29T11:54:07.508-07:00Kindergarten<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A hundred years ago I began this blog to document my very unorthodox plan to motherhood (single, donor embryo) and the </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">universe rewarded me with a beautiful, intelligent, healthy, kind, curious, funny, witty, empathic and loving human being. I was so lucky.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And this amazing little creature just started kindergarten and turns 6 this year!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I doubt anyone's still lurking out there, but I just wanted to post an update. And to wish all of my old blog buddies the best as they walk through life.</span>Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-14549413778217755112014-02-21T08:10:00.002-08:002018-05-29T11:53:52.693-07:00Grateful<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So grateful my eggs were crap - or I wouldn't have this beauty. My strong, sweet, hilarious, smart, fiery soul. She loves animals and all things Disney Princess - yet she's no girly girl. She is a rough and tumble girl, that's for sure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">I've connected with several of her half siblings and it's eerie how much they look alike. They all look like full siblings - a testament to the powerful genes of their sperm donor.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">We're doing well. She's 3 years old and in pre-school - the most awesome creature on the planet and my love for her has no bounds. I couldn't have imagined the depth and power of this love. All else pales by comparison.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">I hope you're all healthy and enjoying life with your families. I miss the active blogging days sometimes and I sure do wish others would post, at least a couple of times a year, to keep us all caught up. :)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">Hugs and love to you all,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">Skylar and me, her mommy!</span></div>
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Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-90388930325270085002013-04-12T14:19:00.001-07:002018-05-29T11:54:29.751-07:0011 Blasts<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">C.C...RM won't allow me to donate them to another woman/couple in an open ID situation and so I'm stuck.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On this very blog I said CLEARLY many, many times that I would NOT NOT NOT think anything of donating any residual embryos forward. And, you know what, I don't. But I will admit that after having my daughter, I feel a strong responsibility towards those 11 clumps of cells I created and I simply <strike>cannot</strike> will not give them to someone anonymously risking the possibility that our children will never know their full siblings.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">That I cannot do with a clear conscience. Yes, I would rather donate them to research.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">I don't feel like their mother, I feel like their guardian - that I am to ensure they're placed into the hands of good people. And other than maybe "friends" on Fa..ce..bo.ok and sharing some pictures here and there, that's it. I don't want to dictate to those parents what's right for they and their children. I merely want to make every effort possible that my beautiful little lady will have the opportunity to know her siblings - at some point that everyone is comfortable with.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Maybe that's fucked up and asking too much. I don't know. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">By the way, here's the latest pic - waiting at doctor's office, she decided to put on my glasses and organize the contents of my purse. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Is she beautiful, or what? :)</span><br />
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<br />Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-69836572606765035062012-11-12T20:05:00.002-08:002012-11-12T20:19:29.305-08:00Pregnancy: The Cure for Infertility?<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Before calling me Captain Obvious, allow me to explain.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Two women on my blog roll (I actually thought it was almost all of them - mostly because I'm prone to exaggeration) and two women in my "real life" and several women on the fertility forum site where I used to hang/post have all received <strong><em>natural</em></strong> BFP's AFTER years of TTC, massive sums of cash forked over to fertility clinics, tons of BFN's, tears and finally the joy of success. Happily, off they went with baby in hand, spooked by the clinical nature of their conception but mostly just damned happy to be mothers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Birth control? HAAAAAA! Of course not, after that history, would you? But low and behold. They became <em>those</em> women. You know who. The women every annoying know-it-all felt compelled to tell you about when you were knee-deep in follistim injectibles and fertility bills. The women who tried and tried and tried and tried FOREVER to have a child - first by YEARS of regular, unprotected sex and then more years of timed, medicated transfers of beautiful embryos. Only after many of the latter did they finally bring home a baby and voila, they'd report a natural pregnancy not long after.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The stuff of legends? I used to think so. I thought it was 99 parts bullshit, 1 part grain of truth (the pregnancy was truth - how they got there I seriously doubted). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But it's happened too often in my very short sample of infertiles for me to ignore. It happens. And often. There, I said it. Curse me. Whatever. But I calls it as I sees it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And no, I don't believe it has anything to do with "relaxing" and that these women, now mothers, relieved so much inner stress that their bodies did what they hadn't previously done. No, I don't actually believe that. But I do think there may be some kind of hormonal righting, something that triggers the body to finally do what it just couldn't. Hell, I don't know. I'm no scientist - CLEARLY. I just know that pregnancy changed my body in every single way (none of which was good, frankly) and I would be foolish not to allow for the possibility that it stirs the chemistry just enough, cleans out the pipes ever so diligently that...natural conception becomes far more likely.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A mutual friend Kathy. Eight years, countless IVF's and finally, twin boys. When they were 8 months and she was going out of her mind trying to juggle it all, she was nauseaus. Isabella was born 9 months later. She never had unprotected sex again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A colleague. Two years of IVF. A baby girl. Six months later. Holy shit, she was pregnant.</span><br />
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<a href="http://ivfatccrm.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Emmeline's mommy</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">. IVF after too many years of unprotected sex yielded no baby. Fresh IVF at CCRM, BFN. Adoption paperwork. FET, BFP. Beautiful little lady. 1.5 years later, miscarriage (read: natural conception) and 12 weeks ago, BFP. Twins, albeit identical (so 1 damned good egg/embryo split). Still. WTF?</span><br />
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<a href="http://noexpectationsexceptababy.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Emily</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">. Three failed IVF's after 4 years of unprotected sex and no baby. Finally, a little girl after a successful FET. And when her daughter was about to turn 1, a late period turned into a second daughter. Surprise!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There are actually several others but it's late and you get the point.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've now turned into one of <em>those women </em>(roll eyes) who absolutely thinks you can get pregnant naturally, despite blowing six figures at the highest end clinics, despite going donor egg route, despite decades of infertility. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The recipe, as far as I can tell is this: regular sex, unblocked fallopian tubes in a woman under 40. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then again, is that really so magical? Isn't that what everyone has to have?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Perhaps infertiles have just been handed so much shit for so long and had to suck it up and push on to build their families that when years later the very mundane, normal course of things happens - pregnancy - they're ready to call the Vatican and have it declared a miracle.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Awesome. Wonderful. Unexpected. Yes, all of those things. But just pretty normal. And a very very good normal, indeed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Oh and about us....we're good. I have the most delightful, feisty, ridiculously smart firecracker. She'll outwit me before her 10th birthday. Until then, I'll pretend I'm a formidable opponent. Wish me luck. ;) and here's a recent shot of the little lady who owns my heart. Next month she'll be 2. Wow!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Finally, let me just say how much this post brought back memories. There was a time (2008-2010) when I was on the very edge of my seat reading all of your stories, crying with you and celebrating the really great moments in your lives. There was absolutely a sisterhood I felt, and still do. It's brought me such joy to see that most of us have gone on to have our children, whether by donor eggs or IVF and our own eggs or adoption. We have the children we were meant to have, and that's about as otherworldly as I'm going to get. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">There were a couple of ladies that made choices to take different paths and despite loving my daughter more than my own life by leaps and bounds, I can honestly say that motherhood has given me a unique perspective on being childfree. I don't think my life was less happy or complete than it is now. It was merely different, so I know without a shadow of a doubt that either path brings an equally rich and fulfilled life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Continued happiness, my beautiful sisters.</span>Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-69208541898873416832012-04-22T09:13:00.000-07:002018-05-29T11:56:24.696-07:00I love toddlers!<span style="font-family: "arial";">Yeap, I do. They're fun and funny and mischevious and even though it can be...well...maddening, the good far outweighs the bad (for me, anyway). Infants, however - ugh! HATE IT! Drooling blobs that can do NOTHING for themselves but shit and cry, and they do lots of it. There wasn't a single rewarding day for me until she began to crawl at 8 months. Ironically, I'd LOVE another one and with 11 on ice, I could but....c'mon. I'm 45 now and she took enough of a physical toll on my body (c-section healed after the sponge was surgically removed, of course). And then there's the childcare costs. If I were even 40, I'd do it again. Alas, my little lady is likely it for me - but I can so feel the pull for another. :) I've kept up with you all, stalking blogs, cheering and even shedding some tears. I really feel as though there was a sisterhood between us ladies throughout our different paths and I still hold it close to me and think of you all so very often.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">There's so much to say but for now, I'll leave you with pictures of my beautiful little lady - 16 months old. The love of my life. And wish you all continued success and happiness and, yes, I'll still be looking in on you all.</span><br />
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Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-31387296505337974252011-03-19T09:20:00.000-07:002011-03-19T09:25:28.086-07:00My c-section wound....First of all, I just don't blog anymore. This fucking c-section catastrophe has absolutely destroyed me since baby's birth.<br /><br />But I will give everyone an update. After me complaining about not feeling right and asking why the wound doesn't heal for past 2 months (out of 3) and my legs experiencing shooting pains, etc. (why bore you with all of the details?), I saw the Medical Director of the Wound Center last Monday for a second opinion. He is a Vascular Surgeon and said we should open it back up and clean it out and see what's going on why it hadn't healed.<br /><br />On St. Patrick's Day, I was in recovery when the surgeon told me they found a "sponge inside." WTF?! My best friend, V, came up from Miami to help me with baby that day/night and left this morning. He'd already seen her while I was out of it to tell her same. She was aghast. <br /><br />But AT LEAST I know now I wasn't crazy in all of the feelings I was having and I feel so much more positive now that this wound WILL finally heal. Of course, the gaping hole inside me is much larger now but as long as I heal, I'm going to thank my lucky stars!<br /><br />Anyway....hopefully on the mend, FINALLY!Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-8522499691922639402011-02-16T18:01:00.000-08:002011-02-16T18:17:47.221-08:00My cutie patootie<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxorqM7Nfy9Lce1vyXO_7brOWqM7Dsbb25FninK_IGPAKvmD6Rbu2nSKrV4YUb_SuSHQEmf0yE7lbnlhd4YM9CkOJjbkX-LneLzUAw3v3ebKtNJy9V_Lp65QyOWYPzfZwwQNokqtxPrX6Q/s1600/Big+kisses.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxorqM7Nfy9Lce1vyXO_7brOWqM7Dsbb25FninK_IGPAKvmD6Rbu2nSKrV4YUb_SuSHQEmf0yE7lbnlhd4YM9CkOJjbkX-LneLzUAw3v3ebKtNJy9V_Lp65QyOWYPzfZwwQNokqtxPrX6Q/s200/Big+kisses.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5574473775787850962" /></a><br /><br />Not a great picture of my little one but a cute one all the same. A friend of mine watches her one day a week to give me a break. Her dog, B, is the sweetest guy - a big dumb, happy, nervous and energetic Weimaraner. I trust him COMPLETELY. He couldn't hurt a fly. In fact, my fiery little Pekingese lunged at him a couple of years back and got him in the face and he got scared and keeps away from her since then. He wants no trouble from a 13 lb. Peke. ;) <br /><br />Anyway, seems my little one was filthy and he decided she absolutely needed her face washed. What a sweetie! And the little one thought it was a hoot.<br /><br />I'm a very big fan of dogs and kids, as you can tell. <br /><br />(Oh....My fucked up c-section wound is <em>still</em> not closed and I'm wondering if it'll still be there when my girl goes to grad school - but the wound vac came off today and now I'll just pack it 1-2 times/day, until we see how that goes. UGH!)Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-24050406490261182592011-02-09T17:49:00.000-08:002011-02-09T17:53:43.614-08:00Whew! No MRSA!Fortunately the Infectious Disease doctor didn't call in the guys in the white coats on me when I told him I was freaking out that I have MRSA and am dying and he's keeping it from me.<br /> <br />The CT scan came back clear - no abscess; all clear. And he emphatically said "you don't have MRSA. We've cultured you several times" to which I replied "but did you test me specifically for MRSA?" and he said "yeah, the lab tests for everything." So I remind him ('cause I question an Infectious Disease specialist if he knows MRSA is staph - just a highly resistant staph) and he says "no, staph is on the skin - it's really common; most people have it if you swab them and culture. That's not MRSA." (My OB doctor said last week she'd be surprised if I had MRSA 'cause "you look great and you'd be really really sick." But, hey, she's no Infectious Disease doctor so I dismissed her opinion)<br /> <br />Then he proceeded to tell me that I worry too much and that the mind is a powerful thing, yada, yada, yada.<br /> <br />So I question why this effen wound isn't healed yet and he said it's getting better and basically waved me off and said to relax.<br /> <br />And here's the part only hypocondriacs like me could appreciate. I was down the hall from the Wound Center and I literally thought "maybe the lab got it wrong every culture test and I do have MRSA." <br /> <br />Yeah, even suffering from anxious worry, I realized that would be really unlikely.<br /> <br />Aside from this wound STILL not fully healed, I'm not infected with anything and the CT scan of my abdomen apparently shows normal insides. <br /><br />I suppose it's just going to be a frustratingly slow(er) process than I'd hoped.Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-27392329790137487212011-02-02T10:22:00.001-08:002011-02-02T10:35:10.532-08:00WTF!Seriously, this post is going to be a bitch-fest!!!<br /><br />So...remember the fucked up c-section wound? Well, has it healed? Fuck NO! <br /><br />For the first 4 weeks there was huge progress and the wound is now about 1.5 cm deep x .5 cm wide with a "tunnel" off of it about 1.9 cm deep. And for those 4 weeks I wore a wound vac (very cumbersome and depressing to have to carry that 24/7). Anyway, 3 weeks ago the "tunnel" (which had been 1 cm week prior went to 1.5 cm) so I instantly asked doctor for a CT scan or MRI, just to see WTF was going on behind the wound. He said the wound had improved a lot from day one (which it had) and that it would improve following week. It didn't. At the same time he took cultures from inside because I smelled something funny (he didn't). Culture came back positive for staph, yet I was on antibiotics (the right one to cover staph) from week prior which said to me the antibiotics aren't working. He sent me another round of antibiotics.<br /><br />And then 2 weeks ago it still hadn't improved and I asked why I was even wearing the wound vac if it wasn't improving. He agreed and removed the wound vac and had me pack it twice a day with a gauze that has silver in it (I think silver nitrate or something antibacterial). I did so. No easy task as the entry to wound is teeny - can barely push the head of a Q-t.i.p inside. <br /><br />Well, the wound is still no better and there is a lot of drainage for such a small wound and the drainage looks "a little cloudy," which is suspicious of infection (meanwhile, I'm on the antibiotic). <br /><br />FINALLY, this morning he agreed to order a CT scan (I don't know - but I'd feel better if they could see something in there to ease my mind) AND he put me back on the wound vac. Needless to say, I'm depressed to be on this machine again. Oh and he's sent me another antibiotic to take with the current one.<br /><br />If the CT scan (Friday morning) shows nothing and the wound is no better I'm going to have to see OB and have surgery so they can open it back up, clean it out and put the wound vac on AGAIN.<br /><br />Honestly, I curse this c-section!!!<br /><br />If ANYONE out there in cyberspace reads this and has experience with a c-section wound and how much time yours took to heal and if you wore a vac or packed it, please share details with me. I'd like to feel less alone in the world here. :(<br /><br />As for my little princess, she's beautiful and wonderful - thank the universe for THAT!Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-55138005617609513122010-12-23T13:05:00.000-08:002010-12-23T13:35:53.479-08:00Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice....YEAH! I got my girl! She's beautiful, healthy and delicious. She was born on 12.6.10 at 4:17 pm - three weeks early - 7 lbs. 12 oz. and 20" long. <br /><br />In short, the protein in my urine was high and it was decided safest to take me to surgery. I didn't attempt natural delivery because, though she was head down, she was very high and I believed I'd end up with a c-section anyway.<br /><br />I'm going to tell you I've regretted that decision tremendously. I know more people who've had c-sections than natural delivery and not a single one had a complication. But me? Yeap, I did. A week after her birth, a 2" part of my c-section was seeping bloody fluid. The stitches were removed and a hole in my scar is now open so that it heals from the inside out. I see an Infectious Disease specialist at the Hospital's Wound Center and wear something called a "Wound Vac" that sucks the fluid from the hole in my stomach by negative pressure into a small box that I carry around. I've struggled with the anxiety and depression that's come with this health setback but thanks to Zoloft and a conscious effort to stay focused on taking one day at a time, I'm doing okay. Anyway, looks like another month before it's healed and I desperately look forward to it.<br /><br />Pregnancy was definitely hard on me. I now take meds for high blood pressure (spent 1 day in hospital on Mag Sulfate because my BP was soaring) and we monitor to see if it goes down on its own over time. My cholesterol is very high but doctor says she thinks it's also pregnancy related and wants to re-take in 6 months and make a decision then. Carpel Tunnel in my hands and some nerve issue with a couple of toes in my right foot (probably a pinched nerve). <br /><br />Hey, I just turned 44 - not the greatest time to have a baby, so I'm going to have to work extra hard to improve my health and labs. I did lose all of the pregnancy weight in 2 weeks, so that's good.<br /><br />But back to the positive...I've been blessed with this little beauty and good friends who call and email and text and send hugs. <br /><br />I will eventually come back and post the birth story because it was overwhelming and complex and really beautiful. <br /><br />For now I'll leave you all with a picture of my lovely lady and wishes for a wonderful holiday and a better 2011 than any of us even imagines!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsxkPyB9WciKo8UPHHcgCkmyWHhqv7dSpcXWVGjVphSikhZ6tiSJyUibbkwEyBJVMgTjrPBSuYxck1LrcP0Xx08F-EtFAbEXQnXplUhTpL5QysF5LuU18rDuEijbUYqEooh77MDF61LJRx/s1600/DSC00325.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsxkPyB9WciKo8UPHHcgCkmyWHhqv7dSpcXWVGjVphSikhZ6tiSJyUibbkwEyBJVMgTjrPBSuYxck1LrcP0Xx08F-EtFAbEXQnXplUhTpL5QysF5LuU18rDuEijbUYqEooh77MDF61LJRx/s200/DSC00325.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553994384813404882" /></a>Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-73870638906725294882010-11-23T16:32:00.000-08:002010-11-23T16:47:49.434-08:00Home Free!I must have some nerve stating that, but I'm going to go out on a limb and feel confident now. <br /><br />I don't know how other women do it but I had milestones on my calendar. Something like this:<br /><br />-20 Weeks - half way there!<br />-28 Weeks - semi safe zone (can breathe a bit easier)<br />-30 Weeks - minimum delivery date I can feel good with<br />-32 Weeks - still NICU but healthy baby would result<br />-34 Weeks - maybe NICU but very confident about healthy baby<br />-35 Weeks - HOME FREE!<br /><br />And tomorrow is Home Free!<br /><br />Now, do I think nothing can go wrong? HELL NO! I'm too cautious and realistic to live in a cloud, but I do think the odds are definitely in my favor - especially that the little monkey measures almost 2 weeks ahead (just a big baby) and my uterine arteries are good - no notching (some studies suggest the opposite of my results indicate pre-eclampsia in your future).<br /><br />Mostly good news. But I see the doctor every week now and my blood pressure is a concern. I've been diagnosed with "Borderline" Pregnancy Induced Hypertension and my physical complaints are nearly endless. But I've made it to 35 weeks so I have MUCH to be thankful for.<br /><br />The worst time, psychologically, was during weeks 23-28. I desperately feared anything that would necessitate delivery because I was terrified of the outcome - a micro preemie with a dozen serious health conditions and many more I'd learn of later - and how would I handle that as a single parent? How does anyone handle that, even with tons of help? 28 weeks was a real reason for me to feel safer. And I also figured they could keep me in the hospital and try to get 2 more weeks out of me. But none of those worries came to pass - thank the universe!<br /><br />Frankly, I'd be surprised if I didn't deliver in the next 2 weeks because of the blood pressure crap going on and my general well-being, or lack thereof. And this would be fine by me. I'm ready.<br /><br />Rest assured I will publish the birth story, post a pic and not hold anything back! ;)<br /><br />So I'll sign off with a very sincere wish for you all to have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your friends and family and much health and fertility wishes to all!Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-86558197224581168052010-10-01T15:17:00.000-07:002010-10-04T16:30:25.048-07:00My FIRST Baby Gift (came from a blogger buddy!)So, I have been dreading the registry. I don't know why exactly but a couple of reasons come to mind. I'm still in the danger zone (27 weeks) and maybe I just don't want to seem silly if catastrophe happens. But that's really the minor point. I'm a freak! I hate Ba.bi.e.sR.Us and baby departments in general. It's overwhelming to me - sensory overload, I think. <br /><br />I've changed all of the toilets in my house by myself - no problem. Sinks, tiling, laminate "wood" flooring - done, done and done. I took care of my mom while she died of cancer - hard as hell, but I did it. And I've given myself hundreds of sub-q and intramuscular needles throughout the IVF process. I'm independent and I guess I realized recently that I really like being "in control" and able to take care of myself. But when I walk into baby mega store, I feel like I'm on the moon, building an eco-friendly human habitat with no scientific experience. I get a pang of anxiety and, really, I just want to leave and avoid the whole thing.<br /><br />Well, some friends have been hounding me about doing the registry for an office shower and a shower from my small group of personal girlfriends. I confessed to two of my friends that I just had trouble with the store and they eagerly volunteered to come with me - and make it a girl's afternoon. So we did - two Saturdays ago.<br /><br />And what did the UPS man bring to my door? A huge box and a little box. Hmm...I hadn't ordered anything, so I was wondering...What did I find when I opened it? My changing pad and the softest cover - both from my registry. From my family? Nope. From my closest girlfriends IRL? No. My very first baby gift EVER came from <a href="http://individualevolution.blogspot.com/">Me</a> - someone who's come to my rescue (with a little help from her mister) before and been so kind to me. I loved meeting her in Denver during our coinciding trips and just talking. She's the kind of person I generally gravitate to - honest (even brutally so, which I adore), kind, highly intelligent and the kind of person you know instantly is all substance and zero bullshit - all the things I find comforting and refreshing.<br /><br />So...<a href="http://individualevolution.blogspot.com/">Me</a>...I thank you and thank you some more for being so generous and doing such a sweet thing. I'm not a highly sensitive person but - hormones, ya know - I welled up when I saw your name on the paperwork. And please remember that when you're in central NJ for a business trip, we're meeting up for a couple of drinks on me!<br /><br />This IF blogging community has been such a positive experience for me. :)Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-90054344526690812292010-09-26T15:22:00.000-07:002010-09-26T15:23:12.834-07:00Going Private for a Bit - be back soon :)Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-26689042158617303162010-09-02T17:24:00.001-07:002010-09-02T17:30:06.805-07:00Blue or Pink?I don't know either. <br /><br />Thanks for all of your replies. I think, given I've waited this long, I'll wait until birth.<br /><br />What helped? Something really really really silly. I found a nursery theme that could work for now and when I have the baby, I can incorporate more gender specific colors into it.<br /><br />It's not the greatest but I like it. And, truthfully, I'm looking much more forward to creating a beautiful little girl's or boy's room vs. a baby nursery. I'd love to see the excitement and joy in a little one's face over getting their big girl/boy bed and the room being decorated exactly as they want. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlMNOTTJqQPBqD4JH8ckpYxIeJZe4jUVB1yTpIBpt3whdpVXJj2Reoq5KjVuC94uMzfrU8SnsX_COgVVlXBq25Lhy2dXrsduAct5LyP3X28sxIE0_hW2UM_Y2aBU7nfvBviesmr7JSj8vJ/s1600/Nursery.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 177px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlMNOTTJqQPBqD4JH8ckpYxIeJZe4jUVB1yTpIBpt3whdpVXJj2Reoq5KjVuC94uMzfrU8SnsX_COgVVlXBq25Lhy2dXrsduAct5LyP3X28sxIE0_hW2UM_Y2aBU7nfvBviesmr7JSj8vJ/s200/Nursery.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512477532073017762" /></a>Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-2637069032851603332010-08-22T13:56:00.000-07:002010-08-22T14:14:12.163-07:0021 weeks and a rainy Sunday in NJI love this weather (not every day for months, of course, but once in a while - it's wonderful). Been hanging out with the cutest, cuddliest and sweetest kids on earth - my furbabies. My little girl (Pekingese), who adores me but is true to her aloof natured breed, trotted over a while ago and wanted me to put her on the couch next to me because she's scared of the thunder. Now she's sleeping peacefully pressed up against me. I just love it. :)<br /><br />Let's see, what's new on the pregnancy front....<br /><br />I feel the baby move, which is weird and such an unfamiliar feeling but it does remind me the baby's alive - so that's the good part.<br /><br />I've had those Braxon Hicks contractions. My first was around 14 weeks. It's always happened at night or as I wake. My stomach becomes as hard as a rock and I wonder what the hell's going to happen to me. Then I'll move and it subsides. No pain - just a rock hard ball in my stomach.<br /><br />All the tests that have come back beautiful:<br />-Cervical length check at 17 weeks (4.3)<br />-Amnio (all normal)<br />-Twenty week ultrasound - perfect<br /><br />The pre-eclampsia related tests (2 weeks ago) - all perfect:<br />-24 hour urine (normal)<br />-platelets (190K)<br />-liver enzymes "look great," per doctor<br />-uterine arteries recorded good blood flow during 20 week u/s<br /><br />Blood pressure monitoring at home twice/day. Pretty good. Usually in the 120/70 range (give or take a few points). Faxed to high risk OB every week and he's happy.<br /><br />I'm just keeping my fingers crossed the next 10 weeks goes by without incident. Need to reach 32 weeks and then my chances are much better of coming home with a live and healthy baby.<br /><br />Nursery - nada, nothing, zero. Haven't done a thing. Can I just say how counterproductive it is NOT to know the gender of the baby you're carrying? I can't get encouraged about buying a rug or even registering. 90% of what's available is designated girl or boy. Very little is neutral. And most "neutral" items lean boy as you can find many items with some hints of blue while being "neutral" but no items of pink or orange are in the "neutral" zone.<br /><br />Ugh! I don't know...maybe I should just find out. Would sure make planning easier.<br /><br /><strong>What do you all think? What would you do in my shoes at 21 weeks (knowing gender knowledge is literally a phone call away via amnio result readout)?</strong>Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-87830276029675455692010-07-30T18:09:00.001-07:002010-07-30T18:14:52.238-07:00Everyone KnowsThere is always that little bit of apprehension in the back of my head about blabbing the pregnancy news because...well...because until about 30 weeks, I'm not sure I feel confident about a take-home baby. (<em>Disclaimer: ONLY m/c and infertility will allow such fears to fester</em>)<br /><br />But because at 4 1/2 months, my pants are tight and I don't button top button, I thought I'd better spill the beans. So, as of last Monday, everyone in my life knows. Whew! It was a little bit nerve-wracking to take that leap and have to hope everything stays positive.<br /><br />I think it's a very strange thing to actively pursue pregnancy <em>this</em> hard and then keep it a secret for so long and feel nervous to break the news. But, in this process, I've learned that so very many things are strange.Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-90284896736457639902010-07-21T17:37:00.000-07:002010-07-21T17:58:43.336-07:00Brief Hit List-17 weeks and baby good. <br /><br />-Had my amnio last week. Hurt just a bit but all went well. Results by EOW, I hope.<br /><br />-Blood pressure's been a little high - high risk OB now managing me. Averaging around 123/72 which is fine. I worry but do <em>try</em> to remember I can only do so much and all else is out of my hands.<br /><br />-Visited a daycare today. Loved it. Will give them deposit to hold my spot for a March or April admission date.<br /><br />-Work's been rough. Crazy ass boss flipped out just before Memorial Day. Sent scathing (and 100% unwarranted) email to her boss telling him how deficient he is (and copied his direct and indirect reports). Not only against code of conduct and grossly unprofessional but shockingly ironic! My boss has a serious alcohol problem (yeah, on the job too) who is rarely in the office or accessible and makes about a buck fifty BASE. Yeah, it's hard for me to believe too. So the fucking audacity of telling off her boss who is, by the way, a really good director and a super smart, nice and ethical guy, was a testament to her insanity at its best. So, her responsibilities were stripped from her (yet she wasn't fired - inexplicably!) and I now have a new boss. We get along and he's actually in every day. Novel concept, having a boss who provides direction, comes in every day, is sober and doesn't explode with sobbing, dramatic fits once a week.<br /><br />-I love my animals so much. I hope that never changes. Oh, I have established a back-up plan for my beautiful little hairy munchkins in case I have to be admitted to hospital early. What a relief!<br /><br />-Don't know gender and don't care to be surprised. Just too scared of having a boy to want to hear it now (vs. at delivery). I hate sports, damn it. Really doubt I could be a great mom to a boy - despite my friends telling me just the opposite. That I love camping and hiking and outdoorsy stuff - which is true. But, after all, I'm a chick and a single chick at that. So a girl would just be easier for me to relate to. But, whatever will be will be and if he's healthy, I will consider that fortunate enough.<br /><br />-Have an appointment with an estate attorney in August. Just really need to get my will together, healthcare directives, power of attorney (for finances and healthcare) and whatever else needs to be in place. Everything WILL be fine. But not being prepared is fucked up and irresponsible for a single woman. I have to make sure long before I'm in the delivery room, all this stuff is settled - JUST as a precaution (and it'll buy me much stress relief as well).<br /><br />That's it for now.Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-70684694878037997032010-06-23T15:11:00.000-07:002010-06-23T15:16:38.362-07:00NT Scan (12w6d) - Baby MarcelFirst and foremost: It's alive! Whew! Heartbeat and all!<br /><br />The NT measurement was between 1-2, which I was told is good. And I saw an arm and leg darting around (very cute). My good friend's daughter is due 2 months before I am and when I received her NT scan u/s pic, the baby had the cutest profile ever. Looked like a little girl with the most adorable nose. Mine, on the other hand, looks like a sock monkey. Then the baby faced me and it looked like a little demon. Hey, I love my little one and was very happy to see him/her and that the reports were very good. But my friend "R" said I can just call the baby Marcel (which, for you "Frie.nd.s" fans, was the name of Ro.s.s's pet monkey. :)Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-56191146637462966482010-06-19T05:15:00.000-07:002010-06-19T05:24:40.942-07:00Week 12The last couple of days I've been feeling better. I think. Maybe I'm just hoping it's real. The all-day queasiness isn't really gone but I'm not as drop dead tired.<br /><br />My NT scan is on Wednesday. I took the day off as a precaution. Yeah, I worry that maybe the baby bird is gone already. Thursday night I was changing the litterbox (yes, it's okay - my cats are 100% indoor and have been for their whole lives, plus I was still just tested for toxoplasmosis as a precaution) and carrying the old litter in the trash to the curb for trash pick-up next day. And I knew I had to poop (seriously, yes it's TMI - but what about the IF process isn't?) and my lower back started to hurt me TERRIBLY. It felt as though there was a dull, achy 20 lbs. bowling ball going to come out and I suddenly got very bad abdominal/pelvic (who the hell knows where) cramps. I thought for sure that was it, the little bird was done and coming out. <br /><br />I ran to the bathroom and there was only poop. No baby. No blood. I felt instantly well and no back pain and those symptoms went right away. But it was frightening and I do still imagine lying there on Wednesday with the tech girl struggling to find a heartbeat. <br /><br />Why does my brain betray me and go there?!Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-20462889558714723092010-06-07T17:23:00.000-07:002010-06-07T17:26:48.354-07:00OMG! I'm med free! (Wooooo Hooooo!)That's it - I'm done. My E2 was nearly 900 today and my P4 was 16.4 (which the nurse said is fine but I think it's low, given I was on PIO).<br /><br />I'm going to trust them. I'm offcially off all meds starting tonight and on Thursday go in for final labs and if good, I get to wear my cap and gown. ;)<br /><br />(my ass was doing a happy dance at the idea of not seeing another needle!)Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-41933993318572863492010-06-06T13:29:00.001-07:002010-06-06T15:55:39.552-07:00Just living....Hello there ladies! <br /><br />I haven't been much into blogging but I do check up on all of you a few times a week. Everything is going really well so I'm super duper thankful!<br /><br />Though I have some underlying low level anxieties about becoming a single mom and inherent stressors, the Zo.lo.ft has kept me OUT of panic mode (remember last summer when I became despondent, SEVERELY depressed, could not sleep or eat and lost 13 lbs. in less than a week) - yeah, NOT good for a healthy pregnancy at all. I wonder if I was so worn down that I got so sick and my body went into survival mode - it's her or both of them and saved me. I don't know. But, thankfully, the lowest dose of this little blue pill (no, not V.i.ag.ra :) has more than done the trick to keep me from going over the edge so far.<br /><br />Oh, I bought a crib. Well, not a fancy new crib. I bought a crib off of Cr.a.ig'.s.-L.i.st for $75. It's so nice - maple colored wood and kind of sleigh crib-ish looking with a drawer on the bottom. No recalls on it and it came with the mattress (which I think I'll change out for a new one). Yes, I could have afforded a new one and a fancy nursery and I LOVE looking at nurseries that are high end. But in some selective ways, I'm my frugal (by necessity) mother's daughter and just can't bring myself to spend 1K on the gorgeous Pott.er.y B.a.r.n dark wood sleigh bed crib knowing this will likely be my one and only baby and the crib will be around for only a couple of years. Yet I'm seriously considering a stunning pair of hidden platform black Lou.b.ou.t.in pumps at $625 - crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzy! I acknowledge my frugality is selective. And lest you think I'm just a selfish bitch who would only spend on herself, I have many savings plans in mind for baby and would think nothing of buying a little girl (if it's what I've got) a $200 American Girl doll. Maybe it's because the baby doesn't care how fashionable the nursery is (and I don't either) that makes the difference. Who knows?<br /><br />Oh, at 10w, I am tired all the time and have an upset stomach every day. I've never tossed cookies from m/s, despite sporadic queasiness, but my stomach is very sensitive.<br /><br />After sleeping a full night last night and a 3 hour "nap" this afternoon, I'm now off to shower. Gosh, I really hope this fatigue lets up.<br /><br />Hugs to you all.Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-3662056254223621402010-05-21T06:10:00.001-07:002010-05-21T06:14:37.484-07:00My Baby Bird at 8w0d (-2 days) - 163 bpm<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBdIR0YffrDlCIO-vhmw4mkEdz0pJ3pm7epagbi9hV6P_WMPHl_x1LTw64nT3GBUb_-3XWPgssruygZSpBx8Y2FasHC1ft29fnRX6IbWSoqn9y9rXDw-Cp_-WEz30I3Q0_9gdnXzgIN1cm/s1600/8w0dSG.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 120px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBdIR0YffrDlCIO-vhmw4mkEdz0pJ3pm7epagbi9hV6P_WMPHl_x1LTw64nT3GBUb_-3XWPgssruygZSpBx8Y2FasHC1ft29fnRX6IbWSoqn9y9rXDw-Cp_-WEz30I3Q0_9gdnXzgIN1cm/s200/8w0dSG.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473710542123669698" /></a><br /><br />What a cutie patootie! The doctor at RMA chuckled and said "oh, the baby's in a great position." You can see the head, the belly, arm and leg buds growing. :)Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-36393083249493895002010-05-10T15:10:00.000-07:002010-05-10T15:57:12.460-07:006w2d (measuring 3 days behind), hr 125 bpmYeaaaaaaaaaaah, I have held out on the infertile sisterhood. My heartfelt mea culpa, truly. But I just couldn't stomach going into another transfer and potential BFN with all of you cringing at another bad outcome for me. Hell, it could still go sour but I have to get more positive at some point, eh?<br /><br />I fully intended to see Dr. Su.r.rey after the failed March cycle for a hysteroscopy and rule out any issues until....the connections from Denver to L.A. (where I would be for a few days anyway) were outrageous and what really sealed the deal was how confident he was that nothing was wrong with my uterus at all - that the pick on the SFET was clearly the wrong one.<br /><br />On April 12, I transferred two. The real decider for me was the fact that my embryos are frozen in straws of two (don't even want to go there with my frustration over that) and I refused to continue to re-freeze the remaining embryo. It's done and they've have great success with them but it was only done 5 times in 2009 (with 4 ending in success) and the embryologist said it wasn't studied enough (i.e., long term effects) and I'd already re-frozen one in March. Didn't feel like coming up on the bad side of the coin toss in April (and how many more months thereafter) and sacrificing the quality of my embryos, never mind the 5K each time. <br /><br />1st beta (5/21, 9dp5dt) = 229<br />I felt like barfing and not from morning sickness. That number was suggesting they both stuck. What fucking luck! Even Dr. Su.r.re.y said it was certainly in the range to indicate such but that the second beta would probably indicate better.<br /><br />2nd beta (5/23, 11dp5dt) = 415<br />Didn't double. Crap. I didn't want a triple or more because it would have really looked like twins but to not even double was a little troublesome. But C.CR.M said anything over 66% is what they want and mine was 81%. So I did manage to stop worrying right away - after all, not a damned thing I could do and I've been really working hard to take things as they come. Sometimes I succeed.<br /><br />I had my first u/s last Friday (5/7) and one today at the new OB's office (specs in title). Been spotting for over a week but nothing more than a few spots on the tp and my progesterone and estrogen looks perfect and the embryo is fine too. So, again, I was successful at not worrying about it. What could I do anyway?<br /><br />When the little one resembles a human (even remotely), I'll be sure to post the pic.<br /><br />Right now, I'm happy - really really happy and loving the little bird with the beating heart. Hopefully s/he'll be a couple of weeks early so I don't have to bring 'em into the world Christmas week which, in my book, isn't best.<br /><br />Hugs to you all.Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-28417435343350127972010-04-25T10:45:00.000-07:002010-04-25T11:01:14.914-07:00The Ba.ck-up P..la.n (review)I watch the early morning news on ABC and their in-house critic was brutal. He outright insisted everyone save their money and stay home - that he HAD to endure it for professional reasons but it was awful, "a bomb!" He was even more brutal about the script and A.le.x O'La.ug.hlin. But I wasn't put off, I went anyway. <br /><br />Maybe I had such low expectations or maybe I'm just not an idiot who expects a romantic comedy to be of the same calibur as, say, The En.gl.ish P.ati.ent because I actually enjoyed it. I thought it was cute - very light-hearted, totally predictable, sappy at times and provided the yummiest man candy. I mean, that's almost a recipe for a romantic comedy, no?<br /><br />So for any of the aspiring SMC out there, I absolutely think it's worth 90 minutes and $10.50. Now, remember, I have a massive crush on the lead male actor because I am SO COMPLETELY DISGUSTED by metro sexual men with waxed chests, plucked eyebrows and diamond stud earrings (eeeeewwwwwwwww!). I'm before the time when that became in vogue. I'm from when men who look like men, had pride, didn't cry at the drop of a hat and ran to grab a heavy box from their lady was considered manly. <br /><br />YUMMMMMMM!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho2gBDm35oKG2h2hAJNTMpGJ8E2mA8ukxZDMrbbGdHbX5ulXU3bHHt_XRiQXKqhdN9O185-Cl7rQj7sWPC7KSgPJs65Qs9NJxrLYocNBnLfL1VyWgH5jjbMfM4cfEPpgeGIEm8Q_Aiuj9O/s1600/Alex_O_Loughlin_tbup_trailer.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 133px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho2gBDm35oKG2h2hAJNTMpGJ8E2mA8ukxZDMrbbGdHbX5ulXU3bHHt_XRiQXKqhdN9O185-Cl7rQj7sWPC7KSgPJs65Qs9NJxrLYocNBnLfL1VyWgH5jjbMfM4cfEPpgeGIEm8Q_Aiuj9O/s200/Alex_O_Loughlin_tbup_trailer.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5464135778290706578" /></a>Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8590885047645520463.post-17094261041063961622010-03-30T17:04:00.000-07:002010-03-30T17:36:15.213-07:00The Ba.ck-up P..la.nThe movie releases mid April and I can't wait to see it. Stars Jennifer L.o..pez and the absolute all-time hunkiest guy on planet Earth (Al.e.x O.'L.ough.lin). He used to star in a short-lived series on TV about vampires (Moonlight) and I thought he was over-the-top dreamy. He's actually Australian but he's usually speaking in full-on "American" for roles. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIicjeM6jv4qUg2DQJTvN_Rso0qSngyPu18RjYrmw9dBt0NSkXDQqC1TdLAH1McEpruFv-V0JljxP-8GHrvJyDHTuH5BnfEOFbCHp4CiJoGnLuaJkIIBxeIGBDhu6LgynDTiYTSlywDOvu/s1600/alex+oloughlin.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 133px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIicjeM6jv4qUg2DQJTvN_Rso0qSngyPu18RjYrmw9dBt0NSkXDQqC1TdLAH1McEpruFv-V0JljxP-8GHrvJyDHTuH5BnfEOFbCHp4CiJoGnLuaJkIIBxeIGBDhu6LgynDTiYTSlywDOvu/s200/alex+oloughlin.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454587819287281858" /></a><br /><br />Anyway, I can't wait to see this movie. It's about a girl who has reached the...ehem...later reproductive years and decides to have a baby without the husband part because as you all know soooooo well - women have biological clocks. Men, not so much.<br /><br />So she has an IUI using a sperm donor and apparently meets this hunk in the cab on the way home. Within days they're dating and judging by the trailer, she announces her pregnancy five minutes after they do the deed for the first time to which he teases "I'm pretty sure it doesn't happen that fast." Of course, it's the product of sperm donor #XYZ's and the story ensues.<br /><br />I'm fairly sure it'll be no contender for the Academy next year and that it'll probably suck in the box office except for J..Lo fans and SMC and the really committed chick flick connoisseur (I'm guilty on the latter two counts), but I'm really eager to watch.<br /><br />And can I just say, for the record....I'm not some SMC activist. Frankly, I think doing what I'm doing should be done with EXTREME caution and consideration and a lot of thorough planning (check, check and check) but for women like me, who've waited longer than a maternal whim at 23 and who have some financial stability and can make a sustained commitment for life (this is a biggie and ladies who are still hopelessly-and-desperately-searching-for-the-love-of-their-lives-in-bars-and-on-all-occasions need not apply), I hope perceptions can change a bit.<br /><br />Further, I truly love any movie that provokes thought about the genetic code when it comes to love and parenting. I know there are many men out there whose sperm isn't quite doing "the trick" and their children (via sperm donors) are no less their children. Same of the mothers via egg donation or surrogacy (regardless of egg provider) and parents through adoption. <br /><br />I'm a pragmatic, science-minded individual and I understand and agree that any child from my body will not be my genetic offspring but will be no less my child than one who shares my DNA - and no less my child than one I would adopt. Parenting is so much what defines who our children are and who their parents are. <br /><br />Imagine a heart transplant. It's true the organ doesn't share your DNA but it's YOUR heart and always will be.<br /><br />So any time Hollywood wants to help open minds and hearts in a productive direction - in no matter how light-hearted a storyline - I'm all for it.Skyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18288560043939554132noreply@blogger.com6