I must begin by thanking each and every single one of you wonderful ladies. Hearing from so many caring souls out there - many of which are new to my blog - was so heart-warming and gave me such comfort while I sat in a fog.
There were a couple of weeks there that I actually believed I would donate my 14 remainning embryos and call it a day. In an email exchange, Kami gently suggested I hang on to a couple of them - just in case I changed my mind. Within days I'd already begun to come around (thanks again Kami!).
What happened? Well, I think it was truly a fluke. I got very very sick - probably food poisoning of some sort - and days later I started to bleed and things just sort of tumbled from there. No sense in rehashing it now, I guess.
Oh, and the bizarre depression. Let me tell you all that before the loss, I experienced depression and anxiety that worsened considerably by the day. It all began in my seventh week. I think it was the very high dose of PIO (my progesterone level was over 70) and other pregnancy hormones that conspired badly for me. Between week seven and eight, I lost 10 lbs. and was barely sleeping. I would wake up at 3 AM with such anxiety that one night I had an urge to leave my house in the middle of the night in a rain storm and run down the street, barefoot, as fast as I could to a field a few blocks away and lay in the mud. No, I don't think I was psychotic but I was desperate to RUN, anxious to get away from myself. It's difficult to explain.
My OB wanted me to take Zoloft and insisted it was relatively safe during pregnancy and that it's certainly far safer than a deep depression - but I worried about eating a soft cheese, never mind an anti-depressant!
However, after two weeks on Zoloft, I woke up feeling brand spanking new. I realized I'd slept the entire night and that the world no longer felt like it was coming to an end. I will remain on the Zoloft (which is the lowest dose that's prescribed) throughout any future pregnancy and increase the dose if/when I give birth as I am a prime candidate for post-pardom depression. Hey, I could think this is a bad break but a lot of women have far greater physical and medical challenges during pregnancy and they do what they have to do. So will I.
After refusing to have a re-group, last Monday I finally had my phone consult with Dr. Surrey and he was happy to know I'd do a FET. Before that, I have to have a saline sonogram to make sure everything is looking good inside and he gave me the option of bloodwork for blood clotting issues, though he didn't think it would be necessary as we both classified this as a fluke.
I thought I might transfer by Christmas but in what can only be called AWESOME news, my company's annual medical enrollment notice this week came with news of brand new health plans and guess what? Yeap! There is infertility coverage. I could say "FUCK! Why didn't they do this last year and I could have saved 15K from my whopping bill" but I won't. I'm going to be thankful that they'll cover 50% up to 15K in 2010 for infertility services and be extremely thankful, which I am!
My plan will be as last time - transfer only 1 embryo, as I have no desire for twins. Dr. Surrey reminded me that my embryos are all vitrified so the reality is my chances are nearly as good with these as with the fresh transfer - something I knew when they were frozen and always found comfort in.
So, it's a January FET for me!
Now, about you all....I've been following all of your blogs ladies and I'm so thrilled to see how wonderfully it's going for so many of you (and this must be the year for girls, girls, girls!). For those of you in process, I have my fingers crossed and am very hopeful you'll be successful, at last. I'll be commenting on your blogs soon enough again!
Big hugs and another enormous thanks for the kindness and sensitivity you've all demonstrated.
18 comments:
Sky - I am so happy to see a post from you. All I can say is that I am so happy you are going to do a FET in January. Sending all positive vibes your way.
About the depression - I had a short stint of it also around week 7-8. I think it was compounded by the infertility treatments...meaning that there was an added layer of "why am I feeling anything other than utopia at this time - I've been through so much to get to this point, and now I have what I've always wanted". There was some definite confusion and guilt over the feelings of depression, which obviously did not help the depression.
I'll say it again - so happy to see a post from you and so glad you're back...and so happy you've decided to keep a couple of those embies for yourself ;-).
My heart leapt when I saw your new post in my reader - I have been thinking of you and hoping that time would bring you back to us.
I'm so sorry for such a lousy confluence of sickness and depression and loss. I hate that you have had to go through any of that, let alone all together. But I'm glad that you are giving it another go - and WITH fancy new insurance!
So, so good to hear from you, and I will be sending all kinds of good wishes your way, as always.
So happy to see you back Sky! I have been worried about you:)
Sky...I echo the other comments--I was so happy to see an updated post from you. I've checked back on your blog often just to make sure I hadn't missed one somehow again.
Hooray for an FET and awesome news on the insurance. We'll all be rooting you on again :)
So glad to hear from you - and how great the zoloft is helping with your depression. I think an FET is just the thing, sooo much less stressful than the full IVF (even with DE). I felt so in control of the FET because they actually used (to some extent) my schedule! Hopefully this more relaxed approach will be just the thing for you.
If all goes well I will also be cycling in January - looking forward to being cycle sistas!
I am delighted you posted also. I was checking your blog quite regularly hoping to see 'light'.
The depression sounds absolutely awful. It's great that you had such a receptive doctor.
Your plans are very exciting and I can't wait to read all about them.
welcome back!!
My sister has major anxiety issues. And they become even more MAJOR during pregnancy. So much so that she does not ever want to be pregnant again. Despite that she thinks having another kid, in the future when she can afford it more, would be nice. She says that pregnancy is psychologically miserable for her. Maybe you are somewhat similar?
I was trying to make you feel better but now that I reread my comment I'm not sure my words will have the intended effect. Hm.
((HUGS))
I am so happy to see you again! I totally agree with Retro Girl's comment...I didn't have severe depression at that time but I did have a few pangs of "shouldn't I be happier than this?" at around week 8-9, at about the same time I was praying that this pregnancy would continue, I was feeling guilt at not being blissful. So, I know your depression was way deeper than that but you are not alone and don't let feeling of guilt compound it. I'm glad you got treatment and know there will be future treatment and I am SO HAPPY you are looking to do a FET.
I was worried about what happened...but it did sound like a fluke, a terribly painful and sad one, but not something that will recur. So great to see you online:-) Hugs!
This is so bizarre, I was just thinking about you this morning, wondering what happened and if you're doing ok. So good to see a post from you again! I'm sorry for the very rough time you've been through and I'm glad to see there is light. Best wishes on your next FET!!!! Hugs
I wrote my comment then got off the computer and realized I wanted to write more about insurance! Do some research before you push off your cycle. I had great insurance with 100% coverage for IVF - did several cycles here and paid nothing at all. Then we went to CCRM and though I still had full coverage and my doctor was actually in-network for my insurance provider, they covered nothing at all of my CCRM cycles. I contacted the business office at CCRM and sent them my insurance information but CCRM takes very little insurance and the lab takes only one kind that isn't hugely popular out here in the east. Also - you may find yourself excluded for other reasons like the reason for your IF or the fact that you are a single woman, etc...there are a lot of caveats. I am just mentioning it b/c it was a rude awakening for us and I would have hated to have pushed off a cycle with nothing to show for it. The sad thing was we could have done 2 more failed cycles fully covered with my local (awful) RE but nothing in CO was covered. Good luck!
Sky!!! I'm so glad to see you post again. I am also so sorry for what you have been through. I think it's wonderful that you have the courage and strength to get back up on the saddle, and January will be here before you know it.
Does Dr. Surrey think there's any correlation between the illness and the loss? I've never heard of food poisoning having an effect on a pregnancy, but I wouldn't be surprised if it did.
Fantastic news on your health insurance. And yeah, better leave 20/20 alone on that one, won't be good for the blood pressure... lol... but at least you've got some kind of coverage now.
I hope you'll keep posting and keep us updated.
So good to see you back!
:D
Welcome back Sky! I've missed hearing what is going on with you and I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. I'm glad that you decided to try again with the remaining embryos and will follow your progress for your FET in January. Yay on the insurance - any help is a good thing and better now than later. About the depression - you do what you have to do to manage it and remain sane during and after the pregnancy. I find people can be pretty judgemental about taking medication during pregnancy but until they have been where you were (i.e. wanting to run down the street in a rainstorm, barefoot, etc. etc.), they have not right to say anything to you. If the Zoloft makes you feel better and the doctor recommended it, than I say do what you have to to manage it. I'm glad to see you back!
I am so glad to see an update from you Sky. I stopped by your blog often just to make sure my reader didn't miss something. You were most definitely in my thoughts.
I am so sorry for all you have been through and for how the depression and anxiety really affected you during your pregnancy. What a difficult and confusing place to be.
I am wishing you all the best with your next FET no matter when it is. The insurance coverage really sounds great!!
It's so good to hear from you again. I've been thinking about you a lot - wondering what happened and how you were doing. I'm so sorry about how everything turned out last time and the depression sounds really scary. But I am so glad that you found that the Zoloft works for you and that your company now has infertility coverage AND you have 14 wonderful embies - lots of good things to look forward to. So glad you are feeling better and are ready to move forward.
I'm so glad to see you back, Sky. You've been in my thoughts, my friend. I'm glad that you not only have a game plan, but that you now have coverage! Wootwoot!!
When you come back to Colorado, give me a hollar and perhaps we can meet for dinner or lunch, if it's on a weekend.
Oh, you have no idea how happy your updated post makes me. I was quite concerned for you.
It is so good to hear from you Sky! I'm so sorry again for your loss.
I too got depressed and anxious when I was pregnant around week 7, so I'm glad to hear I wasn't alone. I was prescribed Prozac, but was afraid to take it. I did start taking it, and it made me even more anxious, which freaked me out even more, so I stopped taking it. I'm curious if you had anything similar? I'm really worried about getting pregnant again
I too would love to meet you when you return in January. You can get my e-mail address off my blog.
Sounds like you are on the mend, but I can't imagine how much you have grieved this loss. Big hugs.
So glad to see your update.
It is scary how much we are effected by our hormones. Who are we if our personality can change so readily?
Glad you are back on your feet and giving us an update. I have missed your thoughtful posts.
I hope January is a good month!
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