6w2d (measuring 3 days behind), hr 125 bpm

Yeaaaaaaaaaaah, I have held out on the infertile sisterhood. My heartfelt mea culpa, truly. But I just couldn't stomach going into another transfer and potential BFN with all of you cringing at another bad outcome for me. Hell, it could still go sour but I have to get more positive at some point, eh?

I fully intended to see Dr. Su.r.rey after the failed March cycle for a hysteroscopy and rule out any issues until....the connections from Denver to L.A. (where I would be for a few days anyway) were outrageous and what really sealed the deal was how confident he was that nothing was wrong with my uterus at all - that the pick on the SFET was clearly the wrong one.

On April 12, I transferred two. The real decider for me was the fact that my embryos are frozen in straws of two (don't even want to go there with my frustration over that) and I refused to continue to re-freeze the remaining embryo. It's done and they've have great success with them but it was only done 5 times in 2009 (with 4 ending in success) and the embryologist said it wasn't studied enough (i.e., long term effects) and I'd already re-frozen one in March. Didn't feel like coming up on the bad side of the coin toss in April (and how many more months thereafter) and sacrificing the quality of my embryos, never mind the 5K each time.

1st beta (5/21, 9dp5dt) = 229
I felt like barfing and not from morning sickness. That number was suggesting they both stuck. What fucking luck! Even Dr. Su.r.re.y said it was certainly in the range to indicate such but that the second beta would probably indicate better.

2nd beta (5/23, 11dp5dt) = 415
Didn't double. Crap. I didn't want a triple or more because it would have really looked like twins but to not even double was a little troublesome. But C.CR.M said anything over 66% is what they want and mine was 81%. So I did manage to stop worrying right away - after all, not a damned thing I could do and I've been really working hard to take things as they come. Sometimes I succeed.

I had my first u/s last Friday (5/7) and one today at the new OB's office (specs in title). Been spotting for over a week but nothing more than a few spots on the tp and my progesterone and estrogen looks perfect and the embryo is fine too. So, again, I was successful at not worrying about it. What could I do anyway?

When the little one resembles a human (even remotely), I'll be sure to post the pic.

Right now, I'm happy - really really happy and loving the little bird with the beating heart. Hopefully s/he'll be a couple of weeks early so I don't have to bring 'em into the world Christmas week which, in my book, isn't best.

Hugs to you all.