First and foremost: It's alive! Whew! Heartbeat and all!
The NT measurement was between 1-2, which I was told is good. And I saw an arm and leg darting around (very cute). My good friend's daughter is due 2 months before I am and when I received her NT scan u/s pic, the baby had the cutest profile ever. Looked like a little girl with the most adorable nose. Mine, on the other hand, looks like a sock monkey. Then the baby faced me and it looked like a little demon. Hey, I love my little one and was very happy to see him/her and that the reports were very good. But my friend "R" said I can just call the baby Marcel (which, for you "Frie.nd.s" fans, was the name of Ro.s.s's pet monkey. :)
Typical stupid chick who believed motherhood after 40 would be easy. It wasn't; and that's a gross understatement. Thanks to CCRM and a lot of money, a little lady made me a mommy and I found love and weakness in myself I never knew existed.
6/23/10
6/19/10
Week 12
The last couple of days I've been feeling better. I think. Maybe I'm just hoping it's real. The all-day queasiness isn't really gone but I'm not as drop dead tired.
My NT scan is on Wednesday. I took the day off as a precaution. Yeah, I worry that maybe the baby bird is gone already. Thursday night I was changing the litterbox (yes, it's okay - my cats are 100% indoor and have been for their whole lives, plus I was still just tested for toxoplasmosis as a precaution) and carrying the old litter in the trash to the curb for trash pick-up next day. And I knew I had to poop (seriously, yes it's TMI - but what about the IF process isn't?) and my lower back started to hurt me TERRIBLY. It felt as though there was a dull, achy 20 lbs. bowling ball going to come out and I suddenly got very bad abdominal/pelvic (who the hell knows where) cramps. I thought for sure that was it, the little bird was done and coming out.
I ran to the bathroom and there was only poop. No baby. No blood. I felt instantly well and no back pain and those symptoms went right away. But it was frightening and I do still imagine lying there on Wednesday with the tech girl struggling to find a heartbeat.
Why does my brain betray me and go there?!
My NT scan is on Wednesday. I took the day off as a precaution. Yeah, I worry that maybe the baby bird is gone already. Thursday night I was changing the litterbox (yes, it's okay - my cats are 100% indoor and have been for their whole lives, plus I was still just tested for toxoplasmosis as a precaution) and carrying the old litter in the trash to the curb for trash pick-up next day. And I knew I had to poop (seriously, yes it's TMI - but what about the IF process isn't?) and my lower back started to hurt me TERRIBLY. It felt as though there was a dull, achy 20 lbs. bowling ball going to come out and I suddenly got very bad abdominal/pelvic (who the hell knows where) cramps. I thought for sure that was it, the little bird was done and coming out.
I ran to the bathroom and there was only poop. No baby. No blood. I felt instantly well and no back pain and those symptoms went right away. But it was frightening and I do still imagine lying there on Wednesday with the tech girl struggling to find a heartbeat.
Why does my brain betray me and go there?!
6/7/10
OMG! I'm med free! (Wooooo Hooooo!)
That's it - I'm done. My E2 was nearly 900 today and my P4 was 16.4 (which the nurse said is fine but I think it's low, given I was on PIO).
I'm going to trust them. I'm offcially off all meds starting tonight and on Thursday go in for final labs and if good, I get to wear my cap and gown. ;)
(my ass was doing a happy dance at the idea of not seeing another needle!)
I'm going to trust them. I'm offcially off all meds starting tonight and on Thursday go in for final labs and if good, I get to wear my cap and gown. ;)
(my ass was doing a happy dance at the idea of not seeing another needle!)
6/6/10
Just living....
Hello there ladies!
I haven't been much into blogging but I do check up on all of you a few times a week. Everything is going really well so I'm super duper thankful!
Though I have some underlying low level anxieties about becoming a single mom and inherent stressors, the Zo.lo.ft has kept me OUT of panic mode (remember last summer when I became despondent, SEVERELY depressed, could not sleep or eat and lost 13 lbs. in less than a week) - yeah, NOT good for a healthy pregnancy at all. I wonder if I was so worn down that I got so sick and my body went into survival mode - it's her or both of them and saved me. I don't know. But, thankfully, the lowest dose of this little blue pill (no, not V.i.ag.ra :) has more than done the trick to keep me from going over the edge so far.
Oh, I bought a crib. Well, not a fancy new crib. I bought a crib off of Cr.a.ig'.s.-L.i.st for $75. It's so nice - maple colored wood and kind of sleigh crib-ish looking with a drawer on the bottom. No recalls on it and it came with the mattress (which I think I'll change out for a new one). Yes, I could have afforded a new one and a fancy nursery and I LOVE looking at nurseries that are high end. But in some selective ways, I'm my frugal (by necessity) mother's daughter and just can't bring myself to spend 1K on the gorgeous Pott.er.y B.a.r.n dark wood sleigh bed crib knowing this will likely be my one and only baby and the crib will be around for only a couple of years. Yet I'm seriously considering a stunning pair of hidden platform black Lou.b.ou.t.in pumps at $625 - crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzy! I acknowledge my frugality is selective. And lest you think I'm just a selfish bitch who would only spend on herself, I have many savings plans in mind for baby and would think nothing of buying a little girl (if it's what I've got) a $200 American Girl doll. Maybe it's because the baby doesn't care how fashionable the nursery is (and I don't either) that makes the difference. Who knows?
Oh, at 10w, I am tired all the time and have an upset stomach every day. I've never tossed cookies from m/s, despite sporadic queasiness, but my stomach is very sensitive.
After sleeping a full night last night and a 3 hour "nap" this afternoon, I'm now off to shower. Gosh, I really hope this fatigue lets up.
Hugs to you all.
I haven't been much into blogging but I do check up on all of you a few times a week. Everything is going really well so I'm super duper thankful!
Though I have some underlying low level anxieties about becoming a single mom and inherent stressors, the Zo.lo.ft has kept me OUT of panic mode (remember last summer when I became despondent, SEVERELY depressed, could not sleep or eat and lost 13 lbs. in less than a week) - yeah, NOT good for a healthy pregnancy at all. I wonder if I was so worn down that I got so sick and my body went into survival mode - it's her or both of them and saved me. I don't know. But, thankfully, the lowest dose of this little blue pill (no, not V.i.ag.ra :) has more than done the trick to keep me from going over the edge so far.
Oh, I bought a crib. Well, not a fancy new crib. I bought a crib off of Cr.a.ig'.s.-L.i.st for $75. It's so nice - maple colored wood and kind of sleigh crib-ish looking with a drawer on the bottom. No recalls on it and it came with the mattress (which I think I'll change out for a new one). Yes, I could have afforded a new one and a fancy nursery and I LOVE looking at nurseries that are high end. But in some selective ways, I'm my frugal (by necessity) mother's daughter and just can't bring myself to spend 1K on the gorgeous Pott.er.y B.a.r.n dark wood sleigh bed crib knowing this will likely be my one and only baby and the crib will be around for only a couple of years. Yet I'm seriously considering a stunning pair of hidden platform black Lou.b.ou.t.in pumps at $625 - crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzy! I acknowledge my frugality is selective. And lest you think I'm just a selfish bitch who would only spend on herself, I have many savings plans in mind for baby and would think nothing of buying a little girl (if it's what I've got) a $200 American Girl doll. Maybe it's because the baby doesn't care how fashionable the nursery is (and I don't either) that makes the difference. Who knows?
Oh, at 10w, I am tired all the time and have an upset stomach every day. I've never tossed cookies from m/s, despite sporadic queasiness, but my stomach is very sensitive.
After sleeping a full night last night and a 3 hour "nap" this afternoon, I'm now off to shower. Gosh, I really hope this fatigue lets up.
Hugs to you all.
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