You know, things ultimately work out for me - they really do. And I don't want to minimize that truth, but don't think for a second that they work out easily for me. Heck no, that is NOT the case.
I've work very very very hard for every single thing I have in life and none of it fell into my lap, yet I'm still so grateful. Many people work incredibly hard and never realize the fruits of their labor.
But timing in life has always been uncanny for me in many ways. For example, I travel for work - but not often and that's by design. I wouldn't take a job that requires a road warrier because not only do I hate to travel, I have animals that need care and it costs me a good chunk of money every single day to board my dog if I must travel.
I probably hadn't traveled in a year and low and behold, wouldn't you know it - I had to move my very first IVF cycle one month forward because of extensive travel one month. So I did it in March vs. February and when you're 41 every single month matters with your own eggs, truly.
Then I learned I had to have my fallopian tubes removed and when my gynecologist gave me the first available O.R. date of September 2nd, I couldn't do it because I was going to spend the weekend in Quebec with my cousin and her husband. Argh!
And now, the only thing standing in the way of me getting onto the CCRM waiting list is the start of a mock cycle and GUESS F-EN WHAT?! Yeap, I have my once-annual tiny vacation coming up - this year it's Mexico for 4 days.
Well, if my period arrives any sooner than October 29th, I'm screwed royally because I can't have a transvaginal ultrasound on the day I would need to. !#^$%^&@! I'm furious over my total and complete awful luck with timing. And if it doesn't happen then I could even miss next months timing too - because I have to travel to a conference in Miami on November 20th.
More than anything, I just want to get on the waiting list for CCRM and then I can relax. Until then, I'm not moving forward - I'm in total limbo!
So much of IVF is waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting. For Pete's sake, we only have 12 periods a year and anything and everything is ignited by cycle day 1 of a period so, do the math people, it's not much opportunity - which is why women spend YEARS in this endeavor.
Maddening!
3 comments:
My husband has to travel all the time. For months, sometimes. If he goes somewhere fabulous I'll try to spend as much time visiting as possible, but otherwise we have lost months and months of opportunity because of bad timing.
In the beginning of our attempts, I looked back on the calendar and realized that out of twelve months he had only been in town during ovulation three times. I didn't think I was infertile at that point - just lonely!
Oh honey, that is definitely rough! And that's the only nice part about IVF, right? Your husband can now freeze his boys and doesn't really have to be around for the "deed." :)
Sorry you are forced to wait (again!) I hope it is worth the wait!
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