The Top 10 Most Annoying Things People Say to You When You Are Trying to Get Pregnant

(I've posted a lot today, I know :)

At my old RE's office in late June - just before the donor embryo FET that resulted in a chemical pregnancy, I'd gone in for my first progesterone injection and so the nurse could make big Sharpie circle's on my hips so I'd know where to inject ('cause my biggest fear was stabbing into a bone with that unbelievably LONG needle). So as I was leaning over, waiting for the shot, I saw a stack of pamphlets and I just loved the headline. Here's the list and my commentary below the ones that annoy me most!

1) Just relax
(Listen, the most stressed-out, drug infested crack whores who are running away from their pimps get pregnant so please don't insult my intelligence! And how exactly am I supposed to truly relax knowing I'm spending enormous sums of money on a chance at having what aforementioned crack whore gets so easily and for free?)

2) Stop trying so hard.
(Hmm....okay. Do you say that to your son who's studying for the bar exam? Do you say that to your daughter who's working on a promotion? But for the baby I need, I shouldn't try so hard - uh, okay, thanks!)

3) Do you have children?

4) Take a vacation.

5) Have a glass of wine.

6) Don't think about it so much.
(Right, I won't. I'll just think about it sometimes - until I'm 50 and then no fertility clinic will take me - great idea)

7) Oh too bad because you'd make such a great parent.
(Don't count me out yet, okay!)

8) Why don't you just adopt?
(HOLY FUCKING SHIT! If there was one that really kicked me in the stomach, it would be this one. NO ONE outside the infertility world has the vaguest idea how utterly stupid, uneducated and completely EXCRUCIATINGLY DIFFICULT this is. There is no such thing as "just adopt" or I would have "just" adopted already. In fact, I'd be too busy changing diapers right now to bother ranting about it. Get a clue!)

9) You should do what my mother's cousin's friend's daughter who got pregnant did.
(I love this one. It always comes from some stupid jackass who compares apples and oranges in life ALL THE TIME and lives blissfully unaware that NOTHING in life works that way. So someone will offer up to me that Janice's daughter went to wonderful Doctor so-and-so who performed IVF on her because her fallopian tubes were bad and she has twins and 8 embryos in the freezer. Uh-huh and do you realize Janice's daughter is 24 years old with no other infertility issue but fucked up tubes - the very thing IVF was created for - and THAT is the reason she was successful on the first try?)

10) I know exactly how you feel (from the person with a child.)