I want to preface this by saying that I am well aware of how lucky I am. I didn't do anything different than most other donor egg recipients have done nor am I more deserving. I just got crazy lucky, that's it. And all I can do is pay it forward, which has always been my plan (whether donating 2 embryos or 14).
I've opened with that because I got a call from the embryologist today while I sat in the Denver Airport to tell me they froze another 5 blasts on Day 6 for a grand total of 14 blasts in the freezer.
So the details are:
Frozen Day 5
3-4AA (1-4AA transferred)
3-4BA
1-3AB
1-3BA
1-2/3
Frozen Day 6
4-4AA
1-4BA
Now here's something interesting. They consider even the lowest graded on Day 5 higher than the best on Day 6. Funny, huh? He said "because they were where they should have been on the right day." He also added they can all create a human but to compare between the two days is "apples and oranges."
I mentioned that AFTER the transfer I learned you could have a 5AA and that it's a higher grade and I didn't know anything was higher than 4AA. He said it's a hatching blast but "the numbers don't really matter - they just tell us how expanded they are; the letters give us more information." And then he said something about a hatching blast being difficult to work with because the "zona pellucida" (I just looked that up to figure out how to spell it - I can't believe he used such a technical word on me. I'm in advertising, not medicine!) is being shed and that process should be happening in the uterus, etc. He assured me a 4AA was the "perfect" embryo on Day 5 and to transfer and that with it being a donor egg with donor sperm, they're normally very high quality.
So if that helps any of you out there to stress less about your own results, awesome!
Next subject: 2WW. SUCKS THE BIG ONE! You all know; you've been there (so have I actually). Hate it!
My days have gone like this: "It worked, it worked, it worked - when do I buy a crib?" to "This sucks, I'm going to have to fly back out to Denver and I don't even like flying and now I'll have to fund a FET - why did I back down?!" Now girls, just repeat that a few dozen times a day.
Uhh, when can I POAS - seriously? When? Is 2dp5dt too soon? I'm not screwing with you guys, is it?
16 comments:
That's interesting that the lowest day 5 is better than the highest day 6. They've been telling several of us that it doesn't matter if they are day 5 or 6. Well crap, 3 of my 4 were day 6. =(
Best of luck to you! That is so incredibly generous of you to pay it forward! We need more of you in this world of IF.
Oh btw, I think the earliest I see gals getting BFPs is 4dp5dt. I'm on pins and needles with you!
Jill, please do understand that he was very clear that ALL of the blastocysts were excellent and capable of success, even if the grading system elevates some more than others. He stressed this several times. You will be FINE!
One thing is CERTAIN: CCRM is success driven. Whether that sounds right or fucked up, it's true. That's why out of 20 embryos they were following on Saturday (Day 5), they only froze 5 the next day. Unless they believe the embryo will succeed, they WILL NOT freeze it - he also told me that. The part he didn't say is that they do that to keep their stats high. Otherwise, they would simply freeze all of them as people have gotten pregnant with the shittiest 2 day embryos and BFN with the best hatching blasts.
So please do NOT feel discouraged in any way. Their angle is excellent stats - it's their corner on the market and their justification for outrageous cycle costs.
Jill, I forgot the most critical part. You will have CGH verified embryos. You'll be GOLDEN! I would take 2 "normal" CGH blasts vs. 27 non-CGH blasts. It's one thing to have many many blasts - that's awesome. But to have a couple of "normal" blasts is utopia! Then you know what you transfer has a phenomenal rate of success - whether frozen on day 5, 6, 9, 27. And that is probably why you were told it doesn't matter between day 5 or 6 - cause if they're "normal" then that's it baby - that's the stamp of approval.
Without that information, all they can use is the model of "who got to blast faster?" which is weak but it's all they have.
Oh man. Oh MAN. You hit the frickin' DE jackpot. So very, very happy for you, my dear. And I'm still callin' it early: yer preggers. Mark my word.
But that doesn't mean the 2WW doesn't SUCK. ASS. FOREVER. and I wish none of us had to go through it. Hélas, we pay our dues, us infertiles.
I have no advice -- even having suffered through it -- other than to get your mind on other things (stop laughing!) At one point I just realized that no amount of obsessing or worrying would change the outcome and decided not to torture myself. That kinda/sorta worked.
In JLo's new movie, she meets Mr. Right just after getting inseminated. Now that would be a way to get your mind off things. LOL
Very interesting, the info you got from CCRM. I got, like, nothing compared to the grading they gave you. No letters, no numbers. WTF? Were our embryos that bad? If they were, just goes to show you that even crappy embryos can make a healthy baby. It sounds like even your early blasts got graded, and they wouldn't grade ours... I'm puzzled.
Anyway... who cares, all that matters now is that it worked and I think you will soon be joining be on that 9-month marathon to Mommyhood. You go, girl!
Glad you're back. Take super good care and email me any time.
(hug!)
Onwards, Dr. Gustofson (incidentally, looks horrid in the CCRM website page pic but totally dreamy in real life with the brightest blue eyes) did not volunteer the grades, he just said "you have great blasts" and then wanted to know if I would transfer 1 or 2. I was so undecided that he told me to "think about it" and he'd come back (as my bladder was rupturing).
When he returned, I was sitting up with a piece of paper and pen in my hand and said, "in order to make this call, I need to know the facts - what are the grades exactly? how many are still being followed until tomorrow? please confirm CCRM is now vitrification only. what is the success rate of 2 vitrified blasts?
I sense they don't want to engage you in the details but there was no way I was going to put 1 in without knowing all of that. Again, vitrification was truly the decider ('cause a 52% success rate on 2 non-vitrified embryos if the fresh didn't work wasn't what I spent a fortune going to CCRM for!)
SO happy for you - it must be so reassuring to know that even if this one doesn't work you have a lot of back-ups.
Still, hoping you don't need 'em!
What great stats on the embryos. I'm so hopeful for you! I assume you know I've been following along, every single step of the way, I've just been crappy about commenting.
I know of people who got BFPs on 4dp5dt (9dpo) at the very earliest. I never got one until 8dp3dt (11dpo) -- that includes all 3 times I managed to eek out a BFP. So please don't test until 9dpo and even then, don't give up hope until 12dpo.
I'm not worried about you giving up hope because I am uncharacteristically optimistic about this one for you!!
That is one seriously incredible donor!! Wow! I hope you don't need any of the frosties, but I'm glad they are there for you just the same.
Oh, and step away from the peesticks. They will only make you crazy at this point!! (-;
What a great donor! You are a lucky girl! 2dp5dt is way too early to test! I tested earliest on 4dp5dt and knew that it was hugely unlikely that it would be positive. The earliest is 5dp5dt and a lot of women don't get positive HPTs until 8dp5dt...so remember that if you are an early tester (like me). Just keep in mind that you may see a few negatives before you see that positive! (or, be smarter than me and wait...but I have no patience). Don't worry about symptoms...I was convinced this didn't work this time either! Take it EASY and enjoy being pupo!!!
So glad you made it back home safely! 14 blasts in the freezer is awesome and I think you are awesome for wanting to share your good luck with some other deserving woman! It sounds like you transferred one amazing embryo - I can't imagine that this will not result in a BFP for you - I'm so excited. The 2ww does suck immensely. I've only experienced it once - without success a year and half ago, so I don't have much advice other than what others have mentioned - try to stay busy and know that worrying is not going to change the results one way or the other. Hang in there - we'll all be anxiously waiting along with you!
Since I did not trigger I started right away..I did give the emby a few days to implant...maybe 4 days after transfer?. Why not? What? You want to save $20 buck after spending tens of thousands? If you want to do it...start peeing.
You know you risk a false negative if you test early. You know what you can handle.
And I so get the "totally worked" to "it's all doomed" thing.
Doing a single emby transfer is a hard decision indeed! But I do think it's the responsible thing to do with such high quality embies.
Hey Sky... thanks for the extra info on how you got your grades. Makes more sense now. We didn't push at all to get info and as I said, it's all water under the bridge now.
Regarding CCRM's handholding: they'll monitor you closely from here on out. You'll have weekly blood draws to check your hormone levels once you've done your first betas. They may adjust your meds based on those levels, or they may just keep you on whatever you're on at this point. I am assuming of course that you are pregnant and will continue to be so (!) - I will be floored if you are not.
The monitoring will continue (most likely) through week 12. They like to have you off the meds by then because at that point your body is producing enough hormones on their own. They will start to wean you off the meds sometime around week 9-10. I had to have blood draws twice a week a few times. Throw in the monitoring your OB will do, and you'll probably get real friendly with your lab tech, as I did.
I found the nurses to be really great with the monitoring and answering any/all questions promptly. We communicated through email and phone, more phone as things progressed.
FWIW, I noticed a significant increase/improvement in my energy once I got off the meds. Powerful stuff.
How are you feeling? I hope you're not stressing too much. Remember, it's out of your hands now and you're chances of this working are MUCH higher than it not working.
Fingers and toes crossed for you!!!
Sky, thanks for your comment on my blog. I LOVE when you dish on celebrities!
OMG SKY!!! Those are such amazing stats and only someone who has been through the hell and back of IF would already think of being so kind and generous to another couple. You rock! I laughed when I read the paragraph about what is bouncing around in your head in the 2ww...I'm having similar thoughts pre-transfer so I KWYM! I'm glad you're home safe and sound and have had such great news!!!
Hey Sky, I just now noticed you addressed my concerns. Just wanted to say thank you!
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