It’s official – it happened this week already and it affected me more than turning 30 and even more than turning 40. Just as I turned 30, I separated from my husband (a great man but it just wasn’t “right” between us) and we divorced within five months. We haven’t spoken since just before he remarried over 9 years ago. So I had a lot going on in my life to notice 30 much. And the big 4-0 in 1996 – what an awful year! My mom had a catastrophic fall which led to months of rehab and a lot of work to equip her house more safely for her and then her terminal cancer diagnosis days after her 72nd birthday and by the time my birthday rolled around in December, I was knee-deep in Oncology appointments, radiologists and managing her healthcare, which took extraordinary effort.
She died in August last year and my 41st birthday was a blur. The only thing that snapped me into a semi-conscious state again was not having gotten a period for two months which prompted my gynecologist to order the day 3 hormonal tests and, BOOM, the elevated FSH.
That’s when the reality of my age came crashing down – I was too old to have a baby the normal way. Not only would I need the help of high-tech science, I would pay an obscene amount to get it and it was too damned late for genetic offspring. Whoa! A lot to take in, but I accepted it all and got the first appointment I could last January (2008).
I believed wholeheartedly that I would be either changing diapers before my 42nd birthday or that I’d be just about to pop. Had the donor embryo cycle this past summer worked, I would have been close enough (due in March).
So this particular birthday has really hurt and time is ticking away, you know? When I spoke with CCRM earlier this week they said I should still expect the original 6-9 months wait for a donor though, unsolicited, they mentioned that the economy has caused an increase in ladies wanting to be egg donors.
I really hope I get a nice surprise over the next few weeks.
7 comments:
I hope you get a nice surprise too. Hang in there. It's goign to happen eventually. The waiting in the hardest part.
There was an article in the wall street journal earlier this week talking about the upswing in the donor egg / surrogate 'market' b/c of the economy. Makes sense, tho I would have never thought of it. I just hope the donor we picked for #1 will still be around when we need her for #2. *shrug*
Happy Birthday! I hope you get your wish in your 42nd year!
CCRM told us the same wait time and then we had a match after 2 months. So hang in there!
Well, I hope you get a nice surprise as well! Happy birthday and I hope this year brings you a year full of good and exciting times!
I remember reading about this topic on an "infertility news" (just google that topic and you'll see the first result - one of the stories is about the economy spurring on donors.
If I remember right you are also less picky about a total match, right? So that should really shorten that timeframe!
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