3/10/10

5dp6dt - BFFN

You know what the second "F" stands for!

I'm the girl who DOES get early readings when I POAS. Even when I had a chemical pregnancy from a donor embryo FET, I got the slightest line on 4dp6dt. And last summer I had a faint-but-clearly-there line during my fresh eSET.

Yesterday was 4dp6dt. Snowy white stick. This morning (5dp6dt) - blindingly white.

It's definitely over. I'm not sorry about the eSET because I'll tell you that my gut says this wasn't the embryo - it was my uterus somehow. That embryo was "perfect" - 100% cell survival after thaw, fully expanded, 4AA and hatching. C'mon - there was nothing wrong with it. Something's up with me and when I have my WTF chat with Dr. S.u.rr.ey, I will tell him I want an HSG to check my oven. I need to make absolutely sure I'm in pristine shape before I piss more money away (but I'm soooo made of money, right?) and doom perfectly good embryos. :(

Any idea how hard it is to stick those gross Endometrium suppositories up my hoo-ha, knowing it's for nothing?

Ugh!

10 comments:

lastchanceivf said...

Oh geez, I'm so sorry. However, I know you don't want to hear this, even though you're 'normally' an early second line lady, maybe not this time? It still seems a little early to me...remember Jill??
Hang in there hon.

Jill M. said...

Hi Sky,

I've been keeping up with you, but just haven't commented in awhile. First, I'm pretty sure that all FETs through CCRM are all 5dt, but yours could be an exception, I don't know. So this would make you 5dp5dt which would be even earlier. I transferred a beautiful day 5 CGH normal 100% cell survival hatching embryo. My hpts were stark white at 4dp5dt and 5dp5dt. I was soooo sure I was out that I didn't test again before beta. The day before beta I started bleeding red, thought for sure it was AF. Imagine my shock when my nurse said congratulations.

I know you may not want encouragment right now, but just please don't give up yet. Hoping for a beautiful surprise outcome. Hugs!

Eb said...

I hate those damn sticks. And by the way, never had a positive one till after the doc did the test! So I am holding out hope for you.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Nothing I write can help but I wanted to add my voice of support.

Sue said...

I am so hoping you are wrong (from one early POASer to another). I am with Jill in saying that they still consider it a 5dt. I would still do another test tomorrow...and maybe not with FMU. I don't know if you drink a lot of water but my FMU never showed up strongly on a test...always early afternoon for me.

If it is truly a BFFN, I am so so sorry and I agree that you should have an HSG and a hysteroscopy (did they do one?) done and try again. We know it can work. Also - you have to remember that no matter how young your donor is or how beautiful your embryo is, almost half of them are still abnormal. This definitely does not mean that there is anything wrong with your uterus....even 21 year olds have about a quarter of their embryos come out abnormal!

Lorraine said...

I'm just seconding what Sue said - apparently Down's Syndrome in particular makes for an absolutely beautiful embryo. But, of course you should get all of your oven mechanics checked, too.

And of course I would love, love, love for you to end up with a positive after all, but like you I prefer to be starkly realistic about these things. Somehow holding out hope without reason makes it all seem worse in the end. But even as I type that I wish you could prove that it IS possible...

Lost in Space said...

So not what I was expecting to see here. I'm not going to blow sunshine, but will celebrate with you all the same if this turns out to be positive after all.

I'm really sorry, Sky.

I know all about that wasted Endometrin nastiness. Hang in there...

Me said...

Damn it, I'm so sorry Sky. *sigh* So sorry.

musicmakermomma said...

Well, crap. Again.

Although I agree that when I had my FET they took the 5day frozens and transfered them, and still called it a day 5 transfer. So you MAY be ahead of the game...

At any rate, I think you are wise to have a HSG. Then they will have a real idea of what's going on in there.

My heart is just hurting for you hon. Hang in there.

Paige said...

I'm very sorry to hear this news. I'm hoping for the best and agree with getting oven checked out. hugs

Rebecca said...

I'm so sorry. (((hugs)))