(DISCLAIMER: This is a very harsh and angry post - please DO NOT read if you're sensitive)
She had a fucking litter. Yeah, I'm definitely due for a period (reason for being this "harsh") and I was already a bitch on wheels about this subject before this latest affront to ART.
For starters, the only way this woman wound up with 8 fetuses is that she was likely undergoing an IUI when her doctor pulled the plug, given the high volume of mature eggs and, being pissed off and incapable of responsible behavior, she decided to go ahead and have sex anyway. Then this asshole refused to reduce, despite health risks to the entire pregnancy and herself and proceeded anyway, having birthed 8 premature babies (of course!) today.
I love Diane Sawyer and yet I wanted to slap her across the face today on Good Morning America for, again, cooing over the story of a moronic idiot who did such a blatantly irresponsible thing that costs the lives of hundreds (if not more) of children a year. But Diane loves to focus only on the stories with a happy ending, which only mislead most couples into believing that giving birth to a litter of babies is anything but playing Russian Roulette!
The most tragic stories are not the ones where the entire pregnancy is lost at 6 months (though it's heartbreaking enough!). The worst are the stories of high-order-pregnancies where 3 babies are born "relatively healthy," the 4th is diagnosed with cerebral palsy and the 5th languishes in the NIC-U on a ventilator for days but dies from agonizing respiratory failure.
But these assholes are hailed! Oh, poor young mother - and the church runs to help her care for her babies, wash their clothes, give the couple a "night off," gift them with a family van and donate diapers.
That's right! That's SO "The American Way!" Be irresponsible and you'll get a handout (corporate bailouts are an excellent case in point) but be a responsible woman who transfers 1 or 2 embryos if you couldn't fathom reducing, or reduce if the merely good 3 embryos turned into 5 fetuses and you get nothing. Diane Sawyer will not have you on to spread your responsible behavior. She will only coo if you do something incredibly dangerous, stupid and heartless. Makes me SICK!
And, ultimately, every single woman in need of ART will suffer - you'll see. Just like the idiot Indian woman who gave birth at 70, these radical wingnuts make it bad for all of us in the end.
At some point, lawmakers will be faced with such outrage from their constituencies, that they'll be poised to act. And then you'll see laws begin to surface that are intended to eliminate these extreme ABUSES of ART which will only add layers of red tape, time, cost and difficulty for decent women who wish to build their families responsibly.
Shame on Jon & Kate and shame on this new California woman (or feline!). I know it's very tempting to judge them after-the-fact because it turned out well for them but that's the completely wrong approach. Many people drive drunk out of their minds and don't kill anyone on the road but it doesn't make that behavior any less reckless and wrong. Likewise, just because these idiots played Russian Roulette with their children and won doesn't make them lesser assholes for playing the game in the first place!
12 comments:
I agree with you 100%. This really pissed me off. Stories like this fuck stuff up for people like us. ALSO, It's irresponsible and careless. If she can't afford 8 chlldren, she should give them up for adoption instead of expecting handouts.
I totally agree. I know selective reduction is a hard decision to make, and if you aren't able to decide to do it, then you shouldn't put yourself in the position of having to decide! It was very irresponsible of her and her doctor to allow it to come this far.
Yeah, right now all seems well with the litter, but they will be in NICU for a minimum of two months, if they even live. Those kids are going to pay a huge price for their parents' stupidity.
Believe me, I think a reduction when you've tried this hard for a baby has got to be excruciating and I hope I am NEVER in that position.
But if you can't do it then you MUST eliminate the chance of a high-order multiple pregnancy so you don't risk the lives of children you bring into this world.
Like doctors, I think we women should remember to "do no harm," in this process, first and foremost.
I'd have to agree with a lot of your post... and I'll add to it by saying:
do these people really think that they'll give decent care to EIGHT children (assuming all survive) on a equal basis?
I say this coming from a family of 8 and let me tell you, my parents had a hell of a time dealing with all of us. There was simply no way to manage all of us appropriately, and no surprise, the ones with more behaviorial 'issues' got into a lot of trouble.
I don't envy this couple at all. I think they're fools and I pity their children. Yeah, the 'big family' thing can be fun... but 9/10, the children suffer for it horribly. It's cute in the first couple of Christmas photos, but after that... heaven help 'em.
onward, I hear you on the logistics of many children and not being able to properly care for them. But I stayed away from being critical of it because I think some people may be able to make it work (certainly not me).
It's when you behave so recklessly that you proceed with an IUI, knowing you would never reduce if you wound up with a high-order pregnancy that I think is unconscionable.
Children have an inherent RIGHT to be born physically and mentally able-bodied, if at all possible and the least we owe them is that. Proceeding with an octuplet pregnancy is just plain IRRESPONSIBLE and RECKLESS!
And I think several RE's have already spoken out about these octuplets and commented that all of them living, particularly in good health would be miraculous (which won't be known for years).
I don't think reduction is easy but with a high-order pregnancy, it IS the lesser of two evils. If someone is against selective reduction, they need to decline IUI treatment, period.
Wow! I wouldn't want to have a litter either, but that's MY choice. Do I think it's irresponsible, yep. But, I think having children outside of a stable adult relationship is irresponsible as well. Again, that's MY opinion. I wouldn't crucify anyone for how they choose to build their own family. It's all about what you choose for yourself. Isn't that what Pro-choice is? Or is it just okay to end life and not give it? I'm sorry you feel so bitter.
Anonymous, I think you bring up some good points.
I do appreciate that we all have different styles and beliefs. What's right for me may not be right for you, and vice versa.
But lifestyles differences are NOT the issue.
The Duggar's have 18 children. I think it's unfair, as the older children are made to bear much of the parenting responsibilities for their younger siblings, but it is a lifestyle choice. It's not wrong, just different from my ethical boundaries. And single parenting may not be a choice you would make. Again, it's a lifestyle choice.
But differences in how we build our families do not seriously threaten the lives and health of our children from the moment of birth.
And THAT is the critical distinction here.
I suspect you have no actual knowledge of how dismal the prospects for a high order multiple pregnancy is. Please educate yourself on this PIVOTAL point.
The human female is NOT designed to gestate 8 children at the same time. And doing so results in predictable, staggering catastrophe most of the time.
My harsh opinion of this woman isn't bitter, just outrage. Personally, I think it's good not to feel indifferent to the NEEDLESS suffering of innocent children. I'm sorry you don't agree.
I totally agree with you!
I said it on Kami's blog. The more successful failures related to ART that there are the more women who will decline the selective reduction routine.
DH and I decided long ago more than 4, we HAVE to reduce. There just is no other choice.
What really pissed me off with this was the "spokesman" for this woman tried to make this sound like it was IVF! "The doctor put embryo's into her womb" That being the case then wow, this is a miracle because the MOST they will put back is 3--so are you trying to suggest that they all split? Or are you just trying to cover your ignorance?
Unbelievable, but a wonderful post even if it was PMS that motivated it!
I couldn't agree with you more.
Amen sister!
You know what we *won't* hear about? The surgeries, the developmental delays, the long term health problems these kids will have. It will all just seem so rosy.
i know this is a few weeks late but this story is still in the news! what upset me, at first, was that the media was treating this as a "feel good" story. like this was some sort of medical miracle and how cute it was that it took a team of 40 medical professionals to deliver these poor babies. i even heard all the gushy stuff on NPR! i just wanted to scream "get a friggin' clue"! this was a gross misuse of medical technology and shines a harsh light on infertility treatment. now it turns out it was an IVF treatment, at a CA clinic no less. i hope Dr. Kamrava loses his license to practice, it's the least he deserves.
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