I don't know about you but I could do a LOT with 40K. I think to myself, am I nuts? And I can't exactly look to the infertility community, 'cause I've seen people blow 100K and not bat much of a lash over it. Oh....and I'm already down 15K from the cycle this year. So you can imagine the prospect of nearly 55K total makes me sick to my stomach.
And....what if.....OMG, I can barely say it. What if it fails?! Honestly, you'd have to commit me. No baby and down 55K. And where do you go from there?!
I try to rationalize it - to bring it into perspective - by listing all of the items in life that could cost 55K:
- A higher-end new car
- A nicer house
- Home improvements
- I own a 4 year old Toyota Rav. I will own it until it dies (my last Toyota died at 213K miles, love these cars!). I have never been into cars and really couldn't care much about the kind of car I have - so I certainly don't blow money in that department.
- I have a house. I bought my house 10 years ago (THANK GOD!) so although the market is abysmal and the value of my home has decreased 20% in the past 3 years, the overall increase over my original purchase price is about 175% - that's not bad! I feel incredibly blessed but some of that is thanks to my nature. I live in a house that is much more modest than my means. I could afford a house that's twice the cost - but I sleep soundly knowing that I am not even remotely over-extended. I know it's "The American Way," but I just can't do it. It scares the hell out of me.
- And home improvements.....well, let's just say that I consider myself a partially savvy individual. I know a few things about how this works. It's nice to upgrade your house but you have to be cognizant of what houses comparable to yours are worth BEFORE you remodel all 3 bathrooms. If I were to invest 30K into brand new bathrooms, it would certainly make it a more attractive house to buy but is someone going to give me another 30K because the bathrooms were updated? Probably not, but more importantly is that no appraisal company is going to take new upgraded bathrooms into consideration when they appraise your property. They go strictly by "comps" and if the comps in your neighborhood say your property is worth between $340-$355,000, then that's the figure the buyer's lender will use to determine how much they'll lend, period. You can't say, Hey, look at my receipts for the $80,000 kitchen cabinets and granite counters 'cause the bank doesn't care. The bank doesn't lend money on cabinets or nice materials - the bank lends money on concrete things like square footage, number of bedrooms and bathrooms, garage space, basement - stuff like that. And that makes sense, doesn't it? Because even the most updated room can become out of date in a few years or the buyer can decide to paint those gorgeous Italian cabinets and ruin them. Banks don't lend on materials, they lend on tangible bricks and mortar. (sorry for tangent)
(psst you can see I'm rationalizing here - so feel free to add to my crazy logic; I'd appreciate it, truly)