Not in my last cycle June '08. My doctor talked with me when I'd just incorporated estrace into the cycle (vs. just Lupron) and asked how I was doing - that she understood how awful Lupron is and I sort of tilted my head sideways like a confused dog "huh? no, it wasn't bad - I'm fine." And I meant it. Of course I felt somewhat "off" but given all of the shots, pills, ultrasounds, tests and writing big checks, you don't really know what is causing the emotional unsteadiness.
Not this time. This time is bad. I've cried several times since starting on Lupron last weekend. I feel angry and out of sorts and my stomach hurts (like if you ate too much, even when I've not eaten). But mostly I'm sad. I'm worried and doubtful and feeling some despair.
But here's the bright side: I think tomorrow will officially be CD1 and that means I'll be on estrogen patches and supplemental oral estrogen within days. And that ought to balance out the Lupron madness, so I can be a better version of myself.
I'll post and officially count off CD1 as, I think, that would be the official start of this, hopefully magical, cycle.