2/2/09

Benched

That's pretty much how I've been feeling for months. I watch everyone else moving along, doing something, cycling, buying meds, working with their clinic. Me? Nothing, just waiting and waiting and waiting.

I've tried to find others who are waiting too - whether with CCRM or Cornell or wherever. Know what I find? Nada, not a thing. On the contrary, I've found a few girls who were given the 6-9 month timeline and got matched in weeks or a couple of months (the longest at 3). I found a girl who was matched with Cornell at 2 months (they're known for their 1 year waiting list).

I've actually been regretting my decision to go with CCRM. I would have been transferred already if I'd gone with IVF NJ or San Diego - and their stats are damned good. I really don't want to be sitting here in June asking my nurse if they have a donor for me yet.

The economy is in the toilet, unemployment is staggeringly high, egg donors are supposidly lighting up the lines in all fertility clinics, my match criteria is ridiculously small and in a couple of weeks it'll be 4 months with not one single call they initiate to me, not even a possible match to look at, not even a call to say, Hey, you're on top of the list now.

Can this be right?

8 comments:

Josée Martens said...

I can say that they are not impressing me in the customer service department. I've been waiting for stuff too. Maybe I've made a mistake. Grrrr. Buttheads they are. I wonder if something is going on there?

Anonymous said...

I am sorry you are in a stand still right now with your DE cycle. I hope the wait doesn't continue much longer. I too am waiting....IF is nothing but a long wait. And I used to bitch about long lines at the grocery store. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

I can empathize with you frustration, although for different reasons... it took us about 6 months to find our donor (we did not use CCRM's in-house agency.) Then we had to wait because she was in cycle. Then just as we were ready to pull the trigger... CCRM pull some more mandatory testing out of their magic black hat. I guess it was all for the good. But when I found out that the agency had the test all along...? It was hard not to call her and give her some serious snark.

I really understand how hard it is. I had just about given up searching when we found our donor.

Your donor will come. Your baby is out there, and he/she will find you and you'll find him/her. Don't want to get too new-agey on you, but trust that it will happen. Ever IP I've ever known did find their donor eventually. You will too.

Hang in there.

Sue said...

I had no idea the wait was that long! Especially since you didn't list like 50 things they had to have (blonde, 20's, blue eyes, eats only organic, loves animals, etc). I know that CCRM is really bad with calling- I always feel like such a pest calling them all the time, but it seems to be the only way to get information! Hey, do they have a number you can call to see how far up the list you got (kind of like when you are at a restaurant and want to see how many minutes left until you are seated?)? That is so annoying! I hate waiting!

A said...

I only have 1 thing to say: "UGH!!!!!".

I'd call for a status update, too... and then continue to go nuts w/ the waiting... *hugs*

Retro Girl said...

I'm sorry CCRM has been bad about the communication...my only experience with that is that we had to call them on the days for are embryo reports. We would wait patiently till late afternoon their time...nothing. I felt like the "bad" patient, insisting to talk to the lab direct when they insisted on giving the lab a message.

I would bug them as much as you want to...I got over feeling like the bad patient pretty quickly - especially when DH reminded me of the price tag :-).

Josée Martens said...

My nurse is Helen. Who's yours?

The advocate is Kelly Lehl. She was super nice and very understanding.

Me said...

I know the reason is totally different but I very much understand the "benched" feeling that you're referring to. I put IF treatments on hold for about two years. The first year I literally thought I was going to die of sorrow and jealousy for not being able to move toward my goal like everyone else. Feeling helpless and left behind is horrible. Especially when you see the positive tangible result of forward progress all around you...