7/21/09

Apprehensive

My first ultrasound is the day after tomorrow - Thursday morning. I don't even know if it's accurate to say I'm worried. Right now I'll just say I'm not feeling very encouraged. I feel no symptoms, nothing. The aching boobs I had (which were agony) have subsided to nothing over the past week and a half.

I do wonder if it's over already and it's just the 2cc's of PIO keeping me in the dark.

Pretty down today. The weather in NJ is gloomy and rainy and I miss my mom something awful. Hug your moms girls (and your dads). You can't understand or believe how excruciating their loss will be some day and the perpetual state of awareness that you will never hold them again. I would trade just about anything to have my mom right here on the couch next to me for two hours.

Sorry for the doom and gloom. Gotta get into the "tomorrow is another day" declaration of the lovely Scarlett.

13 comments:

onwardandsideways said...

Totally, totally normal to have no symptoms or barely any. I really didn't have that many early on. M/S didn't kick in until after week 6 or so and even then, it was pretty mild.

I know another woman who just cycled, no symptoms and she's probably at about 16 weeks now. Really, no symptoms whatsoever other than her belly starting to get bigger. Which I predict yours will soon. Those beta numbers were nice and strong, that was definitely not a chemical.

You hang in there. FWIW, I'll have my u/s on Thursday morning as well. Fingers crossed for both of us!

DAVs said...

I do not think you should worry about symptoms waxing and waning...I've heard that plenty of times and everything was fine! I know, easier said than done.

I'm sorry for that ache you feel for your Mom. It sounds like you had a wonderful relationship. I am trying so hard to cherish my family right now too, after all that's happened lately with my Dad.

Sprogblogger said...

Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you and wishing you lots of mind-easing symptoms. I know how crazy-making the symptoms (or lack thereof) can be. Hang in there.

Lorraine said...

It's hard to stay upbeat and optimistic for two weeks with no evidence to keep you going. But Thursday is almost here, and I'll be thinking of you, checking for your post and wishing you the best of luck!

Anonymous said...

Hope Wednesday goes by in a flash - it is so hard waiting for news...I bet all is well and you are just a lucky non-symptom kinda girl! It is pretty early to be feeling symptoms, most women who don't do IVF have no clue for the first couple months.

Sue said...

I think you are going to have a wonderful little surprise tomorrow morning! I think my symptoms went away about that time too..but came back with vengeance about 2 days later and they don't seem to want to let up!

I'm sorry you miss your mom. I have always had a great relationship with my mom until the last few years and now she lives so close and all we do is fight and it kills me. I am so constantly aware that we don't have forever...but then again...you can't make someone be healthy and warm, I guess. It just makes me sad.

Eb said...

ah hon, what a heart wrenching state to be in. So sorry. I agree with the other folks - don't worry about the symptom levels. They aren't supposed to kick in till about 7 weeks anyway!
All the very best of luck to you. Sending you a big hug.

Riley said...

I'm sorry you are feeling down - hopefully, you'll get some great news on Thursday. I'm sure your mom is looking over you. It is definitely hard going through all this without that support. Hang in there!

Miss Tori said...

I don't have any assvice about the symptoms, since I haven't been there, done that. However, I did want you to know I'm thinking about you and hoping all goes well tomorrow.

It sounds like you had a great relationship with your mom. Everyone should be so lucky.

kayjay said...

I'm hugging you and sharing with you the apprehension over tomorrow's u/s. There are so many bends and twists in the road yet and it is hard to keep forging ahead some days. Remember - you didn't want any part of m/s and by the sounds of it, you may not have any. I've been doing some reading and there are some theories out there that say that how you feel is largely dependent on your diet so pat yourself on the back - you've obviously been giving your body what it needs and so you feel fine. I'll be watching for Thursday's update - good luck and we're all here for you, virtually supporting you and holding your hand through this all.

Peeveme said...

I needed constant reassuring and went in for extra HCG tests...even if it was out of pocket).

Thinking of you and hoping you are able to breath a huge sigh of relief soon.

Kami said...

It seems that every blood draw and u/s is like the first pregnancy test. Am I pregnant? I felt that way all the way through the pg with LB although it was easier once I felt movement. Still, I can't tell you how many times I woke the poor kid up to make sure she was still alive. Maybe that is why she doesn't sleep well now. Hmmm . . .

Anyway, wishing you nothing but good news!

Emily said...

I am just getting caught up on your news! Congratulations!! I know what a roller coaster it is in the beginning - the symptoms totally come and go. Your numbers look great! Wishing you a wonderful u/s tomorrow.
"Gone with the wind" = best movie ever!!!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful and candid comment on today's blog :)