For me, I think it's a combination of fear, my nature to protect myself from the pain of unexpected bad news and the fact that I have had no m/s or symptoms of any kind (other than being especially weepy, which is very uncharacteristic of me). Now, I have always said, I want NO m/s, please - but, obviously, the flip side of that is it leaves me wondering if the little appleseed decided not to stick around. And, though I don't believe in a supreme being, I do believe that the right things often have a way of unfolding when they don't always seem the best. So I was trying to be ready for a couple of outcomes today.
You were all right! Other than measuring 2 days behind (I was told +/- 3 days is fine), the heartbeat was 123 bmp and everything looked "right on track." I was at my former RE's office in NJ and I was so lucky to get the doctor I most loved there today - he's so tender, gentle and kind. He flipped on the audio switch and I could hear the heartbeat waves. Wow!
Thank you all for the encouragement when I was, clearly, lacking.