12/22/08

Donor Egg Alert

There's a woman in my office . . . she's 44 with a 2 year old. Could it be her egg? Yeap, could be. Was it? I dunno.

I've never asked her if she went to a fertility clinic but she eluded to it. Early this year when she turned 44 I told her she looked great - that I couldn't believe she was 44 (true statements!) and she said "yeah, I'm old - I had my son when I was 42, which is old - he was planned - we really really tried to have him." Those kind of comments - to a fertility challenged chick - perk my ears up. If she was 32 I might think that meant a whole bunch of ovulation predictor kits and timed sex but at 42 (and she's a smart cookie), Nahhhhh!

In fact, she said she and her husband were not going to have kids and when she turned 42 they talked about it and knew it was now or never. Hey, maybe her idea of "planning" was to spread some red rose petals on the bed and get going but, again, Nahhhhh! (I know my people)

Now, because she had one child and she was only 42, in my eyes, it leaves the possibility open that it was actually her egg. If she'd had twins, hands down, my money would be on a donor. 'Cause getting 1 good egg at 42 after 1 try at IVF is a fucking miracle - but 2?! That's no miracle! That's called a twentysomething chippie with hot young eggs for hire. Of course who, but I, would know know this?

My department is fertility-challenged, to be sure, but all of those women (except the current 44 year old) underwent IVF in their 30's. Donor eggs probably weren't discussed with them much.

So I look at 44 year old's son - looks NOTHING like her. Now, big deal, right? My best friend has jet black hair and dark brown eyes - she is dark and sultry and super pretty. Her husband has lighter brown hair and brown eyes. Their first child, a daughter, had a snow white complexion, platinum blond hair and Paul Newman blue eyes as a toddler. She and I were standing outside of a restaurant with her baby in a stroller and someone asked her if she was the nanny. She cracked up and said to me "Did you hear that? It happens all the time - they think I'm the Hispanic illegal immigrant babysitter to the waspy kid."

So maybe 44-year-old-office-girl really is genetically related to her son. From every perspective, it doesn't matter (unless you're me and you're being nosey 'cause you're knee-deep in the fertility and donor egg shit right now).

But I may have the answer to my question some day in 2009 when I announce my pregnancy. If she stares at me too long, asks too many questions and never-friggen-mind if she even hints at donor eggs - I'll know.

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